Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, most people are willing to share their personal
data
with technology
companies
in order to use their software. Even though
such
behaviour has its advantages like reduced cost of purchase for
users
and low legal complications for the organizations, I believe the disadvantages like the risk of fraud and invasion of privacy outweigh its benefits. One advantage of voluntary sharing of personal
data
by
users
to technology service providers is that it ensures
users
enjoy a reduced price for purchasing the product. Often, these
companies
provide their customers with huge discounts on their service fees only if the
users
decide to share their personal information with them.
This
, sometimes brings down the cost,
as a result
,
users
can use the software, even for free. Another advantage of
such
a
user
scenario is that it allows
companies
to skip the legal complications of getting
this
personal information. Frequently, corporations get into compliance battles with regulatory authorities to defend the acquisition of customer's personal
data
.
For example
, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's CEO, was sued by many
users
and the US government for its unethical ways of acquiring
user
data
.
However
,
this
kind of transaction can
also
result in an increase in cyber fraud. More often than not, the personal
data
shared by consumers have critical
data
like bank accounts and identification numbers. Going forward, if these organisations' servers and databases are hacked,
then
all
this
private information may fall into the wrong hands, thereby increasing the chances of
internet
crimes.
Secondly
, customers do not even read terms and agreements properly
while
signing up for
such
an agreement,
this
allows tech
companies
to track
user
data
and their online journeys across multiple platforms, resulting in invasion of privacy.
For example
, websites asking for permissions related to
internet
browser cookies have a tendency to track
user
journeys across the
internet
, right from the moment these
users
agreed to the conditions.
For
this
reason, I believe the disadvantages outweigh its advantages. In conclusion,
although
voluntary opt-in by
users
to share their personal with tech
companies
reduces consumer purchase costs and corporations' legal hurdles, I believe the risk of
internet
crimes and tracking of
user
footprint throughout the
internet
outweighs its positives.
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, to boost your score, try to balance the discussion more equally by elaborating a bit more on each advantage.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. For an even higher score, ensure that each point you make is consistently expanded and exemplified. This will enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more varied vocabulary and sentence structure. Try to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, and incorporate more advanced vocabulary where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments. For example, mentioning Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook adds credibility to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to your writing, and your main ideas are well-supported, making your essay easy to follow and understand.
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