IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. •In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? •Is this a positive or negative development

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In the present time, the way
people
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 communicate with each other has been transformed
due to
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 technology. Social
media
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 made finding
friends
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 much easier than before;
however
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, it makes
people
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 more engaged in each
other’s
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lives
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. I believe that social
media
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,
such
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 as WhatsApp and TikTok, has a positive impact on
people
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’s
lives
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 because it helps some
people
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 talk with their family who live far away. In the new generation, networks are the most popular place to find new companies. With new platforms
such
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 as Tinder and Bumble, it becomes easier to interact with new
people
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.
Also
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, all the users there are open to new friendships and relationships.
For example
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, many
people
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 who live abroad use applications like Hinge to create their own new community.
Moreover
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, online networks
also
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 help
people
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 be more in touch with each
other’s
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lives
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. In new apps,
people
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 can share their
lives
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 and moments through Instagram and Snapchat, and they can add their
friends
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 and
families
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 to be more involved in their
lives
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. For illustration, many Instagram users share life updates and important moments through posts, and their
friends
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 and family can comment on them, which helps everyone feel more involved in each
other’s
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lives
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. Digital tools have a positive impact on
people
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 who live far away from their
families
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. A lot of students have to move away for college, and that could affect their relationships with their
friends
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 and
families
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, but with social
media
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, they do not feel the distance because they can contact each other at any time.
For instance
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, there is no public transportation in Saudi Arabia, which makes it hard for
people
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 who live far away from their
families
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 to see them every once in a
while
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. But with social
media
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, they do not have to travel long hours to see their loved ones. In conclusion, technology helps a lot of
people
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 meet new
friends
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 and become more involved in each
other’s
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lives
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.
Furthermore
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, social
media
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 gives a lot of positivity to
people
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 who live far away.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the main idea, but you might consider elaborating on how technology affects relationships in clearer terms. Expanding your thesis statement can provide a stronger foundation for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your structure is good, but ensure each paragraph has a clear main point. Sometimes, the ideas overlap. Consider exploring each point more distinctly to enhance clarity and flow.
task achievement
Try to be more specific with your examples. While you mention apps like Hinge and Instagram, adding a brief explanation of how they facilitate connections would strengthen your points further.
content knowledge
You've successfully pointed out the dual impact of technology on interactions and relationships in the contemporary world. Your choice of examples shows a good understanding of the topic.
cohesion
The use of transition words helps in guiding the reader through your main arguments effectively, contributing to the overall fluidity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global friendships
  • social media platforms
  • online communities
  • professional networks
  • virtual relationships
  • face-to-face interaction
  • social dynamics
  • long-distance relationships
  • video calls
  • instant messaging
  • geographical barriers
  • superficial connections
  • physical interaction
  • social skills
  • digital interactions
  • technological advancements
  • niche communities
  • specialized relationships
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