it is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

The question of whether it is important for society to take
risks
not only in their professional but
also
personal lives sparked considerable debate among experts. In my view, the advantages of taking
risks
significantly outweigh the disadvantages. One of the paramount advantages of taking
risks
in life is encouraging people with challenges to exceed their capability.
For instance
, employees who are encountering many challenges in work, show that adults are more adept at solving problems and learning new capabilities. In consequence, improvement skills may deliver to the prospective career and face many good possibilities.
Furthermore
, struggling with problems could make people more endurance compared to those who
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always stay in their comfort zone. Another example is a married couple
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
is enduring
risks
, if they can pass it, they will boost their relationship.
However
, it is crucial to acknowledge the potential drawbacks of taking
risks
. Concerns may arise about overloading adults with
risks
, potentially causing stress or anxiety. To address
this
, people must adopt appropriate balanced work or study life methods in which they can manage their time both
laboring
Change the spelling
labouring
show examples
and enjoying their free time.
This
method, hopefully, integrates mental health and good achievement as outcomes. In conclusion,
while
there are disadvantages associated with taking
risks
, I firmly believe that the advantages far outweigh these concerns. Appropriate balanced work or study life methods potential
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
paves the way best future. To ensure successful implementation, the family should be a primary barrier to support adults that addresses the potential disadvantages
while
harnessing the tremendous benefits of facing
risks
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, but it would be helpful to clearly state your position right from the start. Consider rephrasing your introduction to succinctly present your stance.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow logically from one to the next. While there is a sense of structure, smoother transitions between points can help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument. While the examples given are relevant, adding more diversity could enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and sentence structures that could impact clarity. Careful proofreading can help eliminate confusing sentences and elevate the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates your viewpoint. This reinforces your argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
You have made a clear effort to address both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, presenting a balanced view which shows critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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