The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

There are those who argue that
prevention
is more indispensable than cure, which implies that taking measures to avert
health
issues and diseases is significantly superior to treating them once they have occurred.
This
essay will explore the reasons why, in my opinion, treatment should be prioritized in government funding.
To begin
with, investing in preventive
healthcare
not only addresses the root causes of many illnesses but
also
offers substantial economic benefits. To be specific, by investing in early detection, vaccinations, and lifestyle interventions, governments can potentially save substantial amounts on
healthcare
expenditures over time.
For example
, in Australia, widespread vaccination has led to a significant decrease in cervical cancer cases, resulting in substantial cost savings for the
healthcare
system compared to treating the disease.
Thus
, the example underscores that investing in preventive
healthcare
can lead to long-term cost savings and more efficient use of
healthcare
resources.
In addition
,
prevention
embodies the principle of equity in
healthcare
. Preventive strategies,
such
as immunizations,
health
education, and routine screenings, are designed to be accessible to everyone, offering benefits across all socioeconomic levels.
For instance
, Community
Health
Worker programs in Kenya deliver preventive
health
services to underserved regions, effectively reducing
health
disparities and enhancing equity in
healthcare
access.
To sum up
, the ongoing debate about whether
prevention
or treatment holds greater value remains a complex issue.
This
essay has examined the benefits of prioritizing
healthcare
investment and patient treatment,
while
also
addressing the complexities and limitations of striving for comprehensive illness
prevention
for everyone.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The thesis statement is clear but needs to align better with the body paragraphs. The essay suggests that prevention should be prioritized, but the thesis states that treatment should be prioritized.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion directly reflect the main points covered in the essay for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported with relevant examples, the discussion could be more balanced to thoroughly cover both prevention and treatment aspects.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes strong, relevant examples that reinforce the main points.
logical structure
The logical structure is clear and easy to follow, making it simple for readers to understand the argument.
introduction conclusion present
Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!