The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government #phòng #bệnh #hơn #chữa

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are those who argue that

prevention

Use synonyms

is more indispensable than cure, which implies that taking measures to avert

health

Use synonyms

issues and diseases is significantly superior to treating them once they have occurred.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore the reasons why, in my opinion, treatment should be prioritized in government funding.

To begin

Linking Words

with, investing in preventive

healthcare

Use synonyms

not only addresses the root causes of many illnesses but

also

Linking Words

offers substantial economic benefits. To be specific, by investing in early detection, vaccinations, and lifestyle interventions, governments can potentially save substantial amounts on

healthcare

Use synonyms

expenditures over time.

For example

Linking Words

, in Australia, widespread vaccination has led to a significant decrease in cervical cancer cases, resulting in substantial cost savings for the

healthcare

Use synonyms

system compared to treating the disease.

Thus

Linking Words

, the example underscores that investing in preventive

healthcare

Use synonyms

can lead to long-term cost savings and more efficient use of

healthcare

Use synonyms

resources.

In addition

Linking Words

prevention

Use synonyms

embodies the principle of equity in

healthcare

Use synonyms

. Preventive strategies,

such

Linking Words

as immunizations,

health

Use synonyms

education, and routine screenings, are designed to be accessible to everyone, offering benefits across all socioeconomic levels.

For instance

Linking Words

, Community

Health

Use synonyms

Worker programs in Kenya deliver preventive

health

Use synonyms

services to underserved regions, effectively reducing

health

Use synonyms

disparities and enhancing equity in

healthcare

Use synonyms

access.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the ongoing debate about whether

prevention

Use synonyms

or treatment holds greater value remains a complex issue.

This

Linking Words

essay has examined the benefits of prioritizing

healthcare

Use synonyms

investment and patient treatment,

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

addressing the complexities and limitations of striving for comprehensive illness

prevention

Use synonyms

for everyone.

Submitted by dohuyhoang on Wed Sep 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The thesis statement is clear but needs to align better with the body paragraphs. The essay suggests that prevention should be prioritized, but the thesis states that treatment should be prioritized.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion directly reflect the main points covered in the essay for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

While the main points are supported with relevant examples, the discussion could be more balanced to thoroughly cover both prevention and treatment aspects.

relevant specific examples

The essay includes strong, relevant examples that reinforce the main points.

logical structure

The logical structure is clear and easy to follow, making it simple for readers to understand the argument.

introduction conclusion present

Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter- -describe the problem with the equipment -explain how this problem is affecting your work - say what you want the shop or company to do
I am one of your regular customers, and I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the laptop I purchased from your reputable store last week. After I had received the device, I tried to use it for working purposes, but the laptop was not working properly.
6.5
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some would argue that all students in universities have to study the subject they like, while others think that they have to only study something useful for their future, for example, those related to science and technology sectors. Although learning about the latter subjects is crucial to secure a good job and salary, I believe that enrollment in whatever subject they favor leads to students being successful in their fields.
5
band
People think that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It argued that in these days indivduals have affect by news on the social media, and it is a bad development. While social media is imporatnt in our lives, I totally agree with fisrt statment because sometime news on the social media not true, and many governments use thses way for their purpose.
<4
band
Some people are of the opinion that long prison sentence reduces crime rate, while other believe other alternatives should be explored. Discuss birth views and give your opinion.
Some people belived that long prison will be reduced a crime percentage while other think that it should be explored in other alternatives. In the following paragraph, both view of these topic will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reaches.
5.5
band
recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??
Australian kids are becoming obese, and the question of whether academic institutes are completely responsible for their student well-being has sparked considerable debate. While many champion this, because kids spend most of their time in the classroom and daily exercise is supposed to be part of the school curriculum, others argue against it. However, I firmly agree with the former view. Analyzing these facts would give a comprehensive overview of this subject matter.

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People think that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are of the opinion that long prison sentence reduces crime rate, while other believe other alternatives should be explored. Discuss birth views and give your opinion.

recently, Australian children became fat. people claim it is schools responsibility to look after children health and exercise time. To what extent do you agree or disagree??