The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are those who argue that

prevention

Use synonyms

is more indispensable than cure, which implies that taking measures to avert

health

Use synonyms

issues and diseases is significantly superior to treating them once they have occurred.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore the reasons why, in my opinion, treatment should be prioritized in government funding.

To begin

Linking Words

with, investing in preventive

healthcare

Use synonyms

not only addresses the root causes of many illnesses but

also

Linking Words

offers substantial economic benefits. To be specific, by investing in early detection, vaccinations, and lifestyle interventions, governments can potentially save substantial amounts on

healthcare

Use synonyms

expenditures over time.

For example

Linking Words

, in Australia, widespread vaccination has led to a significant decrease in cervical cancer cases, resulting in substantial cost savings for the

healthcare

Use synonyms

system compared to treating the disease.

Thus

Linking Words

, the example underscores that investing in preventive

healthcare

Use synonyms

can lead to long-term cost savings and more efficient use of

healthcare

Use synonyms

resources.

In addition

Linking Words

prevention

Use synonyms

embodies the principle of equity in

healthcare

Use synonyms

. Preventive strategies,

such

Linking Words

as immunizations,

health

Use synonyms

education, and routine screenings, are designed to be accessible to everyone, offering benefits across all socioeconomic levels.

For instance

Linking Words

, Community

Health

Use synonyms

Worker programs in Kenya deliver preventive

health

Use synonyms

services to underserved regions, effectively reducing

health

Use synonyms

disparities and enhancing equity in

healthcare

Use synonyms

access.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the ongoing debate about whether

prevention

Use synonyms

or treatment holds greater value remains a complex issue.

This

Linking Words

essay has examined the benefits of prioritizing

healthcare

Use synonyms

investment and patient treatment,

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

addressing the complexities and limitations of striving for comprehensive illness

prevention

Use synonyms

for everyone.

dohuyhoangWed Sep 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The thesis statement is clear but needs to align better with the body paragraphs. The essay suggests that prevention should be prioritized, but the thesis states that treatment should be prioritized.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion directly reflect the main points covered in the essay for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

While the main points are supported with relevant examples, the discussion could be more balanced to thoroughly cover both prevention and treatment aspects.

relevant specific examples

The essay includes strong, relevant examples that reinforce the main points.

logical structure

The logical structure is clear and easy to follow, making it simple for readers to understand the argument.

introduction conclusion present

Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?
In today's interconnected world, the advancement of health, education, and trade is crucial for the progress of underprivileged nations. While local governments in poorer nations bear primary responsibility for driving these improvements, I firmly believe that wealthier nations have a moral obligation to extend substantial support in these areas.
4.5
band
Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
There is a problem that a myriad of gangland crime as soon as being released from prison. The writer of this essay supposes that the causes of this problem are due to outside circumstances and human beings. It can be tackled by both the authorities and federation.
4
band
The news is an important source of knowledge for all of us about the world, especially in this era of technology. Journalists are mainly responsible to bring this news to us but not all of them are true to their responsibilities and ethics. How much can we trust the journalists? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Due to the emergence of technology, we have online news portals besides the printed newspapers, and it seems like anybody can be a journalist with a dot com website which puts an already questionable profession to more scrutiny and doubts. While trusting journalists and their reports, we should always verify the authenticity of the news and use our common sense.
7
band
Many people have more jobs at the same time, so they dont have enough time for their family. To what extend do you agree this ?
In this day and age, in order to solve the financial burdens and also respond to the demands of each individual, more inhabitants decide to own more jobs at a particular time. However, more people argue that the trend creates a selfish environment due to the workers only spending time on tasks instead of family and hobbies. From my point of view, I believe the schedule of employees also should invest time in children and leisure activities in order to protect their health and family feelings. In this essay, I will present some valid points for this idea.
7.5
band
Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
People have different views about their living preferences. Some people prefer to live in large cities, while others choose to live in small towns. Personally, I would rather choose the big cities, and I will explain my reasons behind it.

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Many people have more jobs at the same time, so they dont have enough time for their family. To what extend do you agree this ?

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.