The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government #phòng #bệnh #hơn #chữa

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There are those who argue that

prevention

is more indispensable than cure, which implies that taking measures to avert

health

issues and diseases is significantly superior to treating them once they have occurred.

This

essay will explore the reasons why, in my opinion, treatment should be prioritized in government funding.

To begin

with, investing in preventive

healthcare

not only addresses the root causes of many illnesses but

also

offers substantial economic benefits. To be specific, by investing in early detection, vaccinations, and lifestyle interventions, governments can potentially save substantial amounts on

healthcare

expenditures over time.

For example

, in Australia, widespread vaccination has led to a significant decrease in cervical cancer cases, resulting in substantial cost savings for the

healthcare

system compared to treating the disease.

Thus

, the example underscores that investing in preventive

healthcare

can lead to long-term cost savings and more efficient use of

healthcare

resources.

In addition

prevention

embodies the principle of equity in

healthcare

. Preventive strategies,

such

as immunizations,

health

education, and routine screenings, are designed to be accessible to everyone, offering benefits across all socioeconomic levels.

For instance

, Community

Health

Worker programs in Kenya deliver preventive

health

services to underserved regions, effectively reducing

health

disparities and enhancing equity in

healthcare

access.

To sum up

, the ongoing debate about whether

prevention

or treatment holds greater value remains a complex issue.

This

essay has examined the benefits of prioritizing

healthcare

investment and patient treatment,

while

also

addressing the complexities and limitations of striving for comprehensive illness

prevention

for everyone.

Submitted by dohuyhoang on Wed Sep 25 2024

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task achievement

The thesis statement is clear but needs to align better with the body paragraphs. The essay suggests that prevention should be prioritized, but the thesis states that treatment should be prioritized.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion directly reflect the main points covered in the essay for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

While the main points are supported with relevant examples, the discussion could be more balanced to thoroughly cover both prevention and treatment aspects.

relevant specific examples

The essay includes strong, relevant examples that reinforce the main points.

logical structure

The logical structure is clear and easy to follow, making it simple for readers to understand the argument.

introduction conclusion present

Both the introduction and the conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree? (phòng bệnh hơn chữa bệnh)

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