Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? what are the main consequences of this issue?
Nowadays,
people
are more likely to be overweight in comparison with the past because of several serious issues and I will elaborate my arguments in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, it is known that obesity is seemingly increasing day by day because of some problems such
as sedimentary lifestyle. To illustrate, individuals' lives are more straightforward with the help of sophisticated technology and it has led to less active life. For example
, in the past, if people
wanted to eat a delicious restaurant meal they would go out, but now it is possible to sit at home and order various food
via internet applications such
as Wolt. Furthermore
, online shopping also
gives
Verb problem
apply
contribution
to urgent health problems ,because there is no need to go to shopping centres and spend energy to find suitable clothes with the assistance of some online shopping programs Replace the word
contributes
such
as Watsons. For instance
, Az TV says that Trendyal which is the best way to shop, decreases offline shopping. In addition
, it is also
argued that pupils tend to consume fatty food
such
as fast food
and chips which are the main reasons for being fat.
On the other hand
, apart from the reasons there are some detrimental consequences which may lead to death. Firstly
, staying at home all day without any activity causes obesity which is a destructive problem because it causes physical and psychological issues such
as heart attack , low self-esteem, anxiety etc. To look at details, it is confirmed by the Medical Association that fat is a prominent cause of heart attack and being overweight also
makes appearance bad and due to
it people
feel ugly and decide to isolate themselves.
In Conclusion, the technological revolution and convenience needs such
as eating fast food
in people
are the main causes of making people
fat, bringing unforeseeable consequences to human health and serious problems with diseases.Submitted by znezerli209 on
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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically to improve coherence. Consider using clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive explanations for your arguments to enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, setting a clear framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both causes and consequences of obesity.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples, such as technology's impact and fast food consumption.
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