Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? what are the main consequences of this issue?
Nowadays,
people
are more likely to be overweight in comparison with the past because of several serious issues and I will elaborate my arguments in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, it is known that obesity is seemingly increasing day by day because of some problems Use synonyms
such
as sedimentary lifestyle. To illustrate, individuals' lives are more straightforward with the help of sophisticated technology and it has led to less active life. Linking Words
For example
, in the past, if Linking Words
people
wanted to eat a delicious restaurant meal they would go out, but now it is possible to sit at home and order various Use synonyms
food
via internet applications Use synonyms
such
as Wolt. Linking Words
Furthermore
, online shopping Linking Words
also
Linking Words
gives
Verb problem
apply
contribution
to urgent health problems ,because there is no need to go to shopping centres and spend energy to find suitable clothes with the assistance of some online shopping programs Replace the word
contributes
such
as Watsons. Linking Words
For instance
, Az TV says that Trendyal which is the best way to shop, decreases offline shopping. Linking Words
In addition
, it is Linking Words
also
argued that pupils tend to consume fatty Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
such
as fast Linking Words
food
and chips which are the main reasons for being fat.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, apart from the reasons there are some detrimental consequences which may lead to death. Linking Words
Firstly
, staying at home all day without any activity causes obesity which is a destructive problem because it causes physical and psychological issues Linking Words
such
as heart attack , low self-esteem, anxiety etc. To look at details, it is confirmed by the Medical Association that fat is a prominent cause of heart attack and being overweight Linking Words
also
makes appearance bad and Linking Words
due to
it Linking Words
people
feel ugly and decide to isolate themselves.
In Conclusion, the technological revolution and convenience needs Use synonyms
such
as eating fast Linking Words
food
in Use synonyms
people
are the main causes of making Use synonyms
people
fat, bringing unforeseeable consequences to human health and serious problems with diseases.Use synonyms
Submitted by znezerli209 on
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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically to improve coherence. Consider using clearer transitions between points.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive explanations for your arguments to enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, setting a clear framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both causes and consequences of obesity.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant specific examples, such as technology's impact and fast food consumption.