These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In the world today, there are some situations
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
women
go out to
work
while
men
stay at
home
to take
care
of their children. Several reasons will give and some positive development. Some reasons why
men
choose to stay at
home
and
women
go to
work
to earn money for their family.
Firstly
,
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
development can create
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
new career paths for both of them.
Therefore
,
women
can have more opportunities to find
jobs
that they like.
For example
, in the past, there were fewer
jobs
suitable for
women
because most
jobs
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
in farming, which often has many heavy activities, so people thought that
women
should stay at
home
and take
care
of their family
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
go to
work
at the farms. But now
women
can have more chances to choose their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
job
Change the noun form
jobs
show examples
such
as teacher, saler, or manager in a company.
Thus
,
this
way can make an equivalent income for each family and they can easỉe to decide who should go to
work
.
Second,
in the past, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
stayed at
home
and took
care
of children, they could be criticized by the public. But now when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
becomes open,
men
can stay at
home
to look after their kids without criticism from
society
so it can lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
stereotypes in
society
. For several reasons, there are some positive developments
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
situation.
Firstly
,
women
and
men
can do what they like.
For example
, if one of two spouses can
work
better than their partner and earn more salary, the other can stay at
home
to take
care
of the family.
Therefore
,
women
can choose to go to
work
that they like and
men
can stay at
home
and do
house
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
work
such
as cleaning the house, taking
care
of children or cooking food for their family. Because some
men
who have the ability to look after someone else are better than
women
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
Additionally
,
women
can do
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
jobs
they like and develop themselves.
Secondly
,
men
can reduce
pressure
Add an article
the pressure
show examples
that they have a big duty to earn money and nurture
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole family. In conclusion,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of technology can give everyone more opportunities to choose a career and do what they do better
as well as
decrease pressure on
men
from
society
.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and gives a clear response to the questions asked.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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