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Band 3.5

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year

#plans #show #site #airport #redevelopment #year
The maps illustrate the existing condition of Southwest Airport and the next year's planned redevelopment. At first glance,
it is clear that
 more
gates
 will be added to the airport and will change the walkway into a sky train.
Moreover
, more facilities are planned to be developed both in the
depature
Correct your spelling
departure
 and the arrival
hall
. The size of the
gates
 will be expanded to accommodate the addition of 10 new
gates
, the expansion is
also
 going to change the walkway to a sky train.
Furthermore
, there will be shops that be added to the tunnel which
connected
Wrong verb form
will connect
show examples
 the
hall
 and the
gates
.
Nonetheless
, the section for security, passport control and
costums
Correct your spelling
customs
costumes
 will remain the same. The main
hall
 is planned to be added with various shops and services
counter
. In the departure
hall
, the cafe will be moved
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the southwest side
while
 the check-in
counter
 will be moved to the northeast side. There is
also
 going to be an addition of
bag
Correct article usage
a bag
show examples
 drop
counter
 on the northwest side. In the arrival
hall
, there will be an addition of another cafe and ATM.
Furthermore
, the area will be expanded for a car rental
counter
.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay provides a detailed description of the maps, it could benefit from better organization and clearer distinctions between different parts of the airport. Consider breaking the description into paragraphs that separately describe changes in gates, departure, and arrival areas for a more organized structure.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by ensuring that each point is well-explained. For example, you mentioned the addition of various shops and services counters but did not provide specific details about the types of shops or the services to be offered.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures, and watch out for minor grammatical errors. For instance, 'In the departure hall, the cafe will be moved into the southwest side...' could be better phrased as, 'In the departure hall, the cafe will be relocated to the southwest side while the check-in counter will be moved to the northeast.'
task achievement
Your essay successfully describes the major changes that will occur in the airport, giving a clear picture of the redevelopment plan.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the rest of the essay by giving a brief overview of the planned changes.
task achievement
You have a good grasp of the task requirements and have covered all major aspects of the redevelopment plan.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • terminal
  • car park
  • runways
  • redevelopment
  • proposed changes
  • expanded terminals
  • new gates
  • additional parking
  • amenities
  • navigation
  • environmental impact
  • economic impact
  • job creation
  • traffic congestion
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