These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In the modern world, there are some situations in which
women
go out to work while
men
stay at home to take care of their children. In this
essay, the cause of this
positive trend will be given.
There are some reasons why men
and women
exchange their conventional roles. Firstly
, technological development has created new career paths for women
. Therefore
, they have more opportunities to find jobs that can sufficiently finance their lives as well as
their families. Thus
, they can make an equivalent or better income compared to males. For example
, careers such
as teacher, saler, or manager are well-paid and suitable for females as they require flexibility and emotional intelligence rather than physical strength. Secondly
, as society becomes more open, traditional stereotypes have vanished. Nowadays, men
can stay at home to look after their kids without criticism from society like they used to be in the past.
Consequently
, this
development has some beneficial impacts on both genders. The first effect is efficiency in role-playing in families. To be more specific, if one of the two spouses can work better than their partner and earn more salary, the other can stay at home to take care of the family for better financial and domestic performance. Another benefit is that people are freer to choose their desired career path without being criticised by others. For example
, men
no longer have to bear the pressure of being capable of feeding the whole family while
women
are not restricted to household chores anymore.
In conclusion, the development of technology can give everyone more opportunities to choose a career and do what they do better as well as
decrease pressure on men
from society.Submitted by ieltsamiedu on
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task achievement
Your essay does a great job of addressing the prompt and providing comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples. However, the example provided about careers suitable for females could offer more variety to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To take your essay to the next level, consider adding a bit more depth to your main points. A further discussion on how societal change impacts both genders equally could add more depth.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong with clear paragraphs that flow well. To improve further, consider using more varied transitional phrases to link your ideas even more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion that nicely frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
Each of your main points is clearly supported with logical explanations and relevant examples.
task achievement
You comprehensively address the prompt and develop your ideas clearly.
Your opinion
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