The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The supplied bar chart illustrates the proportion of adult male
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
in seven different nations
along with
Linking Words
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
average in
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the number of male
smokers
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
less in 2015 rather than in the year 2000. Generally speaking, in the term 2000, Armenia calculated the high number of male
smokers
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
, Australia had around 30% of male
smokers
Use synonyms
in their country.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Egypt and Lebanon
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
equal amount of male
smokers
Use synonyms
around 35%. In Cuba, a fractional decrease can be seen in the population of male
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the span
2015
Change preposition
of 2015
show examples
, some countries show decrement in adult
smokers
Use synonyms
, especially
bangladesh
Change the capitalization
Bangladesh
show examples
had
show
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
in
smokers
Use synonyms
from over 60% to about 40%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is
slight
Add an article
a slight
the slight
show examples
expansion in the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
in the countries like Egypt and Lebanon.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
nations
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same amount of
smokers
Use synonyms
at around 50% in countries like Armenia, Egypt and Cuba.
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: