Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A downright variance of view has been observed among the masses regarding the accepting unpleasant state .A social segment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society contends that accepting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpleasant situations are
finest
Correct word choice
best
show examples
,opponents ,meanwhile,adhere to the notion of working for the betterment in conditions
such
as having inferior job employment in
unpleasant
Add an article
an unpleasant
show examples
environment,
moreover
,having financial
unstablility
Correct your spelling
instability
stability
is foremost .The ensuing paragraphs will proffer an insight into both doctrines and explain why it is necessary to work against obstacles which are coming in
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
way of success . Not endorsed by everyone,yet approved by some individuals that accepting unpleasant circumstances
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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actions,
consequently
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increases motivation and focus to work hard ,which leads us to way of success.
For instance
,if
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
employers
Change the noun form
employer
show examples
is working under any company,which not
giving
Wrong verb form
give
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him
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
of money ,which is required to fulfil his basic needs
such
as travelling
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
,
flat
Correct word choice
and flat
show examples
rent ,by accepting his unstatisfactory state,definitely he will apply for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
job employment. Disjunctive to
this
,the idea of enchantment of circumstances
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
as a more beneficial tool which is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attested by myriads of people.The fundamental element associated with
this
mechanism is the advantage of
getting
Verb problem
having
show examples
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
life ,
such
as by doing hard work,ultimately,which
results
Rephrase
ultimately results
show examples
in
advancement
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the advancement
show examples
of
self
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
show examples
improvement
,determination and confidence.Another considering element analogous to the concept of
improvement
leads to premier employment which leads individuals to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
basic needs
such
as wearing clothes,clothing or flat rent.To illustrate,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
are numerous examples which are
sets
Wrong verb form
set
show examples
by
fimilars
Correct your spelling
familiars
familiar
businessman's
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businessman
show examples
,by assuming their lives,we come to know,behind their success,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is a lot of
improvement
which they are doing from day one.
To conclude
,both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
arguments carry their own reasoning,logic and pragmatism.Albeit,
leading
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the leading
a leading
show examples
tool for working
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
improvement
seems advantageous in the long run due
its
Change preposition
to its
show examples
weighty,indispensable and fringe benefits.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer logical flow to enhance readability. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points are orderly and systematically developed.
task achievement
Work on elaborating and supporting your main points with more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Your essay provided a thorough discussion on both views regarding whether to accept adverse situations or strive for improvement.
coherence cohesion
You included both an introduction and a conclusion, which help to frame your essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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