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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Historical objects should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#objects #country #origin
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In the past, for many centuries, stronger empires had taken the historical treasures of their colonies or just weak areas. But nowadays, some countries want and require to send their historical objects back to their origin place. In my opinion, I would agree with
this
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 statement because of some reasons,
such
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 as history and modern values.
First,
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there are traditional and historical values for local people and connection with ancestors.
For example
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, the statues, monuments, or gold that were sent to strong countries like the UK or the colonial empire of Spain. The UK had taken the monuments and statues from Egypt,
although
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 nowadays they wished to get them back, and the UN saw their asks. Egypt took valuable things like the bodies of pharaohs from the first century and gold from the pyramid. They had said that these things were the history of their areas and lives and that the big ones killed the small ones to take the best things, and violence was the only thing they had.
Second,
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today in the whole world there are so many tourists, and half of them want to see the beautiful statues of the gods of the Greeks or the monuments of Actecs. And
this
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 is the economic reason. If you have a very valuable treasure, it can help you with many aspects and raise your money. Visitors would spend their money and buy the needs of the trips, and the income would be for the economy. In conclusion, there are two main reasons for the agreement of the point of view. Because of the economy and traditions, the objects should be brought back to their original place.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Consider polishing your introduction for clarity. While it sets the stage, it can be more focused. Try to outline your main points briefly.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate clearer transitions between your reasons and examples. This will help improve overall readability and logical flow in your essay.
task achievement
Enhance your use of specific examples and details. This could provide stronger support to your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear and relevant response that addresses the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion concisely sums up your argument, reinforcing the points you've made.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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