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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #exams #skills
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Academic knowledge should be taught to help
students
 pass exams
while
 other
skills
 like cooking or dressing are not necessary. Personally, I partly agree with
this
 statement because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in
this
 essay. On the one hand, academic knowledge is very important for
students
 because it is the foundation for
students
 to pursue their careers. To be exact, a student who wants to study in the university must pass exams involving academic subjects.
Therefore
, spending time learning
skills
such
 as cooking or dressing is thought to be a waste of time and should not.
This
 idea has resulted in subjects involving cooking, dressing, and so on not being taught in some regions.
For example
, in Vietnam, many schools do not teach cooking and dressing
skills
.
On the other hand
, cooking and dressing
skills
 can contribute to success for a
person
 and help them balance their life easily.
For instance
, if two people attend an interview and they have the same level of work
however
 one
person
 who dresses more suitable than the other will win.
Additionally
, a
person
 who can cook can not only cook their meals actively but
also
 cook for others.
This
 action makes people around will attend and love them more.
Therefore
 it can foster potential friendships which can yield opportunities in career, education, and love.
Finally
, I believe that
skills
such
 as cooking or dressing should be taught in schools and they are subjects that
students
 have the freedom to engage in. I partly agree with the idea that
students
 should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and
skills
 like cooking or dressing should not be taught because I believe that other
skills
such
 as cooking and dressing can contribute to success for a
person
 and help them balance their life easily,
hence
, they should be taught as sub-subjects in schools.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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task achievement
Aim to clarify your position more explicitly at the beginning of your essay to strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to your argument. This will help improve coherence.
task achievement
Develop your examples more fully to relate clearly to your argument. This can enhance the effectiveness of your examples and ultimately improve your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your argument.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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