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Some people think that homework is unnecessary and should be banned in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #homework #schools
There is a debate about the relative importance of
homework
 which is being given in schools, with some arguing that it is unimportant and should be forbidden.
Although
 giving
homework
 has significant positive effects on enhancing
overall
 comprehension, In my view, there are a number of destructive influences that can lead to lethargy and a lack of time to do other leisure activities. On the one hand, banning
homework
 would pave the path for
students
 to have a rest after
school
. Many
students
 struggle with doing
homework
due to
 heavy curriculums.
Additionally
, if they do
homework
 which is given by teachers,
this
 tendency will bring the symptoms of lethargy.
For instance
, the shortage of sleep is able to result in several health issues related to our well-being.
On the other hand
, today's modern educational system is developing day after day, by setting up educational buildings.It is not a secret that many schoolchildren have a chance to participate in online lessons apart from
school
 lessons
as well as
 going to various courses.
As a result
, it can influence negatively
school
 education. Another problem is that children do have not enough time to do other leisure activities in order to relax. They are not
together with
 friends and family, and
then
 it will lead to being an introverted person
as well as
 isolation from the world.
To sum up
, banning
school
homework
 is affecting both negatively and positively to
students
,
whereas
, there are a lot of detrimental ways. If teachers don't give
homework
,
students
 have time to rest and unwind
as well as
 spend with family and friends circle.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. Using concrete examples will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences within paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your main ideas to make them clearer and more comprehensive. This will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Introduce more explicit topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly indicate the main point. This will help you achieve better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, giving the essay a good structure.
task achievement
Some good points are raised, particularly about the impact of homework on students' well-being and social lives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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