In one countries, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the cause? Do you think thisi is a positive or negative situation?

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Nowadays, it is a
trending
Replace the word
trend
show examples
for a family to buy a
house
Use synonyms
rather than
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
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a
house
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because it indicates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stability and
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
show examples
. There are many root causes for
this
Linking Words
trend
such
Linking Words
as
people
Use synonyms
's mindset and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
pricing in renting
Use synonyms
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
my opinion, I think
such
Linking Words
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
in
one
Use synonyms
country can make certain
people
Use synonyms
prone to depression. There are so many viable
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for
people
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wanting to own than to
rent
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a
house
Use synonyms
because having your own
house
Use synonyms
means you have
achieve
Fix the infinitive
to achieve
show examples
stability.
Moroever
Correct your spelling
However
, it
also
Linking Words
lift
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lifts
show examples
up your
images
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image
show examples
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of your neighbourhoods, relatives and parents.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country like Bhutan parents are not happy unless their children have their own
house
Use synonyms
. Owing to
such
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social pressure can
leds
Correct your spelling
lead
to a mentality that you ought to have your own home.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
rent
Use synonyms
is rising day by day making it hard for
tenant
Add an article
a tenant
show examples
to
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
effort
which resulted in making them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
desire their own
house
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.
for example
Linking Words
, in
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
we have to pay
rent
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every week and the minimum
rent
Use synonyms
for
three
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
bedroom
Correct your spelling
three-bedroom
show examples
apartment is no less than 600
aud
Correct your spelling
AUD
.
Hence
Linking Words
, so many tenants come to realise that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
better to buy a
house
Use synonyms
than to pay
rent
Use synonyms
every week. I believe that
this
Linking Words
kind of trend can create chaos in the
coummunity
Correct your spelling
community
of
one
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country as all the
people
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are not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
level economically. The middle class family
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
particularly the poor
one
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can
also
Linking Words
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to own a
house
Use synonyms
but they cannot afford to have
one
Use synonyms
which may
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in depression. It is very obvious that paying
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
weekly is better than buying a
house
Use synonyms
at once for some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am here in
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
as international
students
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student
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who works limited hours and for someone like me it
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
to
rent
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
than to own a
house
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
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, from my personal experience renting a
house
Use synonyms
can be
a thrilling moments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a thrilling moment
thrilling moments
show examples
as we get chances to explore different
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
,
style
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styles
show examples
and
also
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fresh
neighbourhood
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neighbourhoods
show examples
.
To conclude
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, owning
Use synonyms
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
can be very appealing and stable to some
people
Use synonyms
but
nevertherless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
this
Linking Words
kind of situation can
also
Linking Words
create some social and mental issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
those
people
Use synonyms
who cannot afford it.
Submitted by ugyenyangzom42 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should present a single main idea, supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Pay attention to language accuracy and variety to enhance clarity and precision. Double-check for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
task achievement
Support your main points with a range of specific, detailed examples. This will help to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on logically structuring your essay with smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question: why owning a house might be important in some countries and whether this is a positive or negative situation. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
Your essay provides specific examples, such as references to Bhutan and Australia, which help to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the key points adequately. This provides a clear opening and closing for your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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