IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

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Young
people
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 are choosing not to vote in the
elections
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 in some countries.
Such
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 a development causes problems like unfair
elections
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 and skewed voting. The possible solutions to
this
Linking Words
 are mandating holidays on election week and incentivising voters
for placing
Change preposition
to place
show examples
 their
votes
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. When young
people
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 refrain from putting their
votes
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, one of the problems that arise is the rise of unfair means of casting
votes
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. Candidates, often, use illegal techniques
such
Linking Words
 as repeat
votes
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 to win
elections
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 in
such
Linking Words
 a scenario.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the absence leads to voting results being skewed towards a particular candidate. Because young voters are in the majority, their absence might increase the chances of the remaining
votes
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to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 in favour of one party over the other.
For example
Linking Words
, the ruling party in India has won back-to-back national
elections
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 by absolute majority because most
people
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 below 28 years of age did not vote. One of the solutions for the low attendance of young
people
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 is to encourage companies to provide mandatory
leaves
Fix the agreement mistake
leave
show examples
 for the entire voting week. More often than not, these are the
people
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 who are at an early stage of their career and tend to live away from their native places.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they find travelling for voting less necessary than working. Another solution is for the governments to introduce a policy of incentivising
people
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casting
Change the verb form
to cast
show examples
 their
votes
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. If they have a reason to turn up and that reason is in their best interest,
then
Linking Words
 the countries would see an increased footprint of young
people
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 at the voting booths.
For instance
Linking Words
, allowing
people
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 to receive subsidies on income tax can attract young voters to be present for voting. In conclusion, young
people
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 not voting has dire consequences on a country’s sovereignty because it fuels illegal voting methods and skews the total
votes
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 in one’s favour. Organizations providing mandatory leaves for encouraging employees to travel, and the government’s introduction of income tax rebates upon voting are the potential solutions.

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language
One area to improve is the variety and precision of vocabulary. Try including more varied words and phrases to express similar ideas, and ensure that each word accurately conveys your intended meaning.
task response
A more comprehensive set of examples and evidence to support your main points would further strengthen your argument. Try to use a mix of hypothetical scenarios, statistics, and real-life examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph flows well into the next, and all ideas are well-organized.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively written, properly framing the essay's main arguments and points.
task response
You have successfully addressed both parts of the question by discussing the problems associated with young people not voting and offering reasonable solutions.
task response
The ideas are clear and comprehensive, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topics discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
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