In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

A lot of countries are seeing their
population
become an ageing
population
, many think
this
generates problems for the
government
while
others believe it is beneficial if society has more senior
citizens
. Even though it may result in an increase in public spending, I believe the benefits of having a good reputation for the
government
outweigh the drawbacks it may have.
Due to
the declining level of health and the lack of physical capacity elderly
people
may have, it is crucial for governments to improve their healthcare services and public facilities. Some
people
see
this
as a problem because it pushes the
government
to decrease the proportion of other
subtantial
Correct your spelling
substantial
areas in order to make room for the needs of an ageing
population
.
For example
, the budget allocated for education for young
people
might be redirected to healthcare facilities for elderly
people
.
However
, I believe that taking care of all your
citizens
is a responsibility of the state, regardless of their age. Taking care of the senior
citizens
will bring a positive perception towards the
government
. In the bigger picture, more elderly
people
means more life expectancy number of the
population
,
in other words
, the
government
has the capacity and competency to look out for its
citizens
.
For instance
, a country without a proper healthcare system, will not have a large number of elderly
people
which indicates the country's inability to do their responsibility. In conclusion,
although
an ageing
population
creates extra spending for the
government
, I believe the advantages of the positive perception from the
citizens
towards the
government
outweigh any drawbacks it may cause.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the prompt well by discussing both the potential drawbacks and benefits of an ageing population. However, your argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples and evidence. For instance, mentioning exact figures or studies that support your points would enhance the essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly impact readability, such as 'a good reputation for the government' and 'the lack of physical capacity elderly people may have.' Refining these phrases can make your essay more polished.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-defined, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is commendable and shows a nuanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, with each paragraph focused on a single idea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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