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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, it is possible to buy a wide variety of foods, which have been transported from all over the world.  Do the benefits of this development outweigh its drawbacks?

#countries #variety #foods #world #development
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Nowadays, it has been quite common that citizens in some countries can buy a wide range of
foods
 transported from all over the world in their daily life,
due to
 the advance of economy and transportation. In my view,
this
 phenomenon has more positive effects. One main benefit is that access to plenty of
food
 has some positive and far-reaching effects on residents' physical
health
 and mental satisfaction.
That is
 because more kinds of
foods
 generally mean various nutrients,
such
 as vitamins, proteins and fibres, and even some minor trace beneficial for human
health
 can be consumed.
This
 can meet the diverse nutritious needs of bodies and
thus
 it is conducive to their physical
health
. At the same time, when seeing colourful and rare
foods
 from other regions, a sense of satisfaction will arise, because it signifies the improvement of their living standards, which is beneficial for their well-being.
Besides
, the consumption of
foods
 which are delivered overseas can develop the economy. In the process of sending and selling, more jobs are created, including packaging, transporting and retailing, which is good for increasing individual incomes and promoting economic growth.
However
, it is undeniable that there are some drawbacks. To be more specific,
this
 kind of
food
 may deteriorate public physical
health
. In order to maintain
food
's fresh and eye-catching,
foods
 transported for a long distance are often rubbed with preservatives, which can ruin consumers'
health
, especially those who often eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foods
 from other areas.
Furthermore
,
this
 trend adversely affects the environment. Compared with local
foods
, these from other zones contain more carbon footprint, as the vehicles to transport
foods
 emit lots of pollutants,
for example
, carbon dioxide, into the air.
On the other hand
, these problems would be addressed with the progress of science, inventing some better additives and clean fuels. In conclusion, I argue that
this
 situation has more merits,
due to
 the positive influences on physical
as well as
 psychological
health
 and the economy.
Nevertheless
, I hope the development of science could solve the problems caused by long-distance
food
.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

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task achievement
Provide clear and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention particular types of foods or specific nutrients that can be obtained through imported foods.
coherence cohesion
Work on smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your viewpoint effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages comprehensively, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear main points and supporting arguments.
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