IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the best way to solve the traffic congestions in cities is to provide free public transports for 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #traffic #congestions #cities #transports #hours #week
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
 opine that the most effective way to solve traffic congestion is to give free public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 all day long for citizens.
However
, I do not agree with
this
 idea wholeheartedly, and I will explain why in the following paragraphs. To start with, the fees for commuters are not expensive, and almost everyone can afford them.
Thus
, I believe if the costs for buses, trams, subways, and so on are free in the future, it will not reduce the chance of traffic jams happening. The
people
 who go to work by driving cars will remain the same, because they may think it is not very handy for them to
use
 the public transportation system to reach their destinations. Another point I would like to discuss is that public transportation should not be allowed to open in 24 hours every single day, because most of the time in the night,
people
 would not
use
 them. Most of the
people
 are sleeping during those hours. Only a few of them may need to
use
 them to go somewhere.
As a result
, if we put our money into those projects, we will lose a lot of funds eventually, so I do think
this
 plan can work. In a nutshell, you can not go everywhere you would like to go by our systems.
Therefore
, sometimes
people
 would rather ride motorbikes or drive cars than take buses or underground in order to go there. Transportation should not be allowed anytime, because
people
 would not
use
 them in every hour and minute.
Submitted by edward300225 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that you thoroughly address all parts of the question. While your essay discusses some reasons against providing free public transport, it could benefit from more detailed explanations and additional arguments. For instance, consider mentioning alternative solutions to traffic congestion.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen coherence and cohesion by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that there is a logical flow of ideas. Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to link sentences and paragraphs together seamlessly.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, you can provide statistical data or real-world examples that illustrate the impact of free public transport on traffic congestion in other cities or countries.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, setting the stage for the discussion in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively organized your essay into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transportation
  • private vehicles
  • reduce
  • encourage
  • accommodate
  • improve
  • emissions
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly
  • cost-intensive
  • allocate
  • significant funds
  • taxes
  • public services
  • safety
  • security
  • challenge
  • overcrowding
  • inconvenience
  • prefer
What to do next:
Look at other essays: