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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #information #subiects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the percentage of different
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 that
students
 favour in
school
 A and
school
B
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
students
 in class A like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
,
while
 the most popular
subject
 for
school
B
students
 is drawing.
By contrast
,science is the least popular in
school
B
,
while
this
 data in
school
 A is related to drawing.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 most significant difference between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 schools is
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. There are two subjects in which the
school
 A
students
 enjoy more than the
school
B
students
.
While
 more than 70%
school
Change preposition
of school
show examples
 A
students
 like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,the data of
school
B
students
 loving that
subject
 is considerably lower with only 10%.With regards to science,the figure of the
school
 A
students
 who favour that
subject
 is about 18% as opposed to just under 5% for
school
B
students
.
On the other hand
,more
school
B
students
 favour
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the three subjects compared to the
school
 A
students
.As many as 20%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 from
school
B
 prefer math in comparison to 12%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 from
school
 A.
Similarly
,more
school
B
students
 like literature than
school
 A
students
,approximately 38% and 10% respectively.The difference,in terms of drawing,is maximal with over 40% more
school
 A
students
 loving that
subject
 than
school
B
students
.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words subject, students, school, b with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • favorite subjects
  • popularity
  • comparison
  • significant differences
  • similar levels of interest
  • subject preference
  • curriculum
  • facilities
  • impact
  • trend
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