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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart illustrates the percentage of different
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 that
students
Use synonyms
 favour in
school
Use synonyms
 A and
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
students
Use synonyms
 in class A like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the most popular
subject
Use synonyms
 for
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 is drawing.
By contrast
Linking Words
,science is the least popular in
school
Use synonyms
B
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,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 data in
school
Use synonyms
 A is related to drawing.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 most significant difference between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 schools is
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. There are two subjects in which the
school
Use synonyms
 A
students
Use synonyms
 enjoy more than the
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 more than 70%
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
of school
show examples
 A
students
Use synonyms
 like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,the data of
school
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B
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students
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 loving that
subject
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 is considerably lower with only 10%.With regards to science,the figure of the
school
Use synonyms
 A
students
Use synonyms
 who favour that
subject
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 is about 18% as opposed to just under 5% for
school
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B
Use synonyms
students
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,more
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 favour
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the three subjects compared to the
school
Use synonyms
 A
students
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.As many as 20%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 from
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 prefer math in comparison to 12%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 from
school
Use synonyms
 A.
Similarly
Linking Words
,more
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 like literature than
school
Use synonyms
 A
students
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,approximately 38% and 10% respectively.The difference,in terms of drawing,is maximal with over 40% more
school
Use synonyms
 A
students
Use synonyms
 loving that
subject
Use synonyms
 than
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words subject, students, school, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • favorite subjects
  • popularity
  • comparison
  • significant differences
  • similar levels of interest
  • subject preference
  • curriculum
  • facilities
  • impact
  • trend
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