Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
A downright variance of view has been observed among the masses regarding the unfavourable
competititive infucence
of educational institutes on Correct your spelling
competitive influence
childs
.A social segment of society contends that the competitive environment of schools is necessary for Correct your spelling
children
youngsters
grooming,opponents,meanwhile,adhere to the notion of unconstructive impacts of competition on Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
youngsters
lives.The ensuing paragraphs will proffer an insight into both doctrines and explain the necessity of challenging conditions.
Not endorsed by everyone,yet Change noun form
youngsters'
youngster's
appproved
by some individuals that the competitive environments Correct your spelling
approved
infucence
Correct your spelling
influence
adults
mental health in Change noun form
adults'
adult's
detrimental
manner.To expand,every Change the article
a detrimental
humans
has their own capabilities and strengths,Change to a singular noun
human
as a result
, some are good at studies ,meanwhile, some are good in
sports,Change preposition
at
hence
,it's nature
distribution.Replace the word
natural
For instance
,my friend who has commit
Wrong verb form
committed
sucide
,after failing Correct your spelling
suicide
Matriculation
exams,Correct article usage
the Matriculation
due to
pressure
of social fear and failure.
Disjunctive to Correct article usage
the pressure
this
, the idea of competition among students in centre
of learning acts as Add an article
the centre
more
beneficial tool which is attested by Add an article
a more
by
a Remove the redundancy
apply
myriads
of people.The fundamental element associated with Correct the article-noun agreement
myriad
this
mechanism is the advantage of enforcements
which helps students to boast their strengths and knowledge,for getting higher grades.Fix the agreement mistake
enforcement
Moreover
,as this
world is becoming challenging
day by day,If a student faces difficulties and challenges throughout his developing years,where he has to learn about the world,Correct quantifier usage
more challenging
as a result
, they can prepare himselves
for Correct your spelling
themselves
umpcoming
challenges.Correct your spelling
upcoming
For instance
,in Asia,individuals usually get higher
superior employment,as they Correct word choice
apply
do
struggle from Verb problem
apply
their
early Change the word
an
ages
,Fix the agreement mistake
age
due to
lack
of support in terms of Correct article usage
a lack
finance and
support.
Correct word choice
financial
To conclude
,both arguments carry their own reasoning,logic and pragmatism.Albiet
,Correct your spelling
Albeit
challenging
environment in educational institutes seems advantageous in the long run Correct article usage
a challenging
due to
its weighty,indispensable and fringe benefits.Submitted by notkhan01 on
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grammar
Improve grammar and punctuation for better readability. Use consistent tenses and ensure subject-verb agreement.
examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
vocabulary
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using it appropriately within the context of the essay. Avoid repetition and improve word choice.
task response
You have presented both views and provided a clear opinion. This shows a good understanding of the task.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a nice frame for your essay.
discussion
You demonstrate a good attempt at discussing both views and offering insights. This element of balance is commendable.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?