Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but often people think they should be more realistic, and think more about their future. Discuss both views a give own opinion.
Choosing a
job
is the main part of our lives; it is also
hard for everyone. There are two opinions on choosing a profession
. First,
students must choose their future jobs based on their interests
. Second,
people
should choose their profession
more realistically.
There are some reasons, why many people
prefer to choose their profession
, which one is interesting for them. But the main reason is satisfaction,motivation and others. People
who select their jobs based on their interests
are satisfied with their work
. If they have some problems with work
,they will not give up,and their work
process will be more enjoyable. For example
, 60% of people
, who choose their profession
looking at their interests
,have a long career. Thus
,many people
work
in a field, where , they are comfortable and interested.
However
, there are some reasons that many applicants choose their job
from a realistic point of view. People
who choose their profession
from a realistic point usually become professionals in their sphere. The main reason that they become professionals is finance. Many people
take motivation from salary because salary is one of the main and important parts of work
. Therefore
, nowadays many students do not choose a job
where they are interested but choose a job
that pays well.
In conclusion, today the majority of people
choose their own profession
relying on salary . Despite the fact that they may be professionals in the future . I personally, think that every person must opt for their future job
based on their interests
and then
all people
would be content and happy with their work
process and life .Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
You have achieved a complete response to the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, you could make your argument even more comprehensive by including more details and real-life examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and you have included an introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear, but sometimes the sentences feel slightly abrupt. Develop your ideas further and provide more evidence or examples to support your arguments.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both views and stated your own opinion effectively.
task achievement
The points you made are relevant and show an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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