Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives

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The issue of balancing between our job and our lifestyle has become a subject of discussion in recent years. Some people manage to balance their lives

while

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others can't.

This

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essay will discuss the causes of

this

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situation and provide some solutions. First and foremost. To have a good

life

Use synonyms

we need to fulfill our needs.

Such

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as having family and friends to be with.

Also

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, taking care of our bodies. Doing regular exercises and eating healthy meals

are

Change the verb form

show examples

crucial to have a great

life

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Moreover

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, of course, we need achievements in our careers. So we can have money to establish all these things I mentioned above we need to

work

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Therefore

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. Having a job is important as the other parts of our

life

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However

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, it

does

Verb problem

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not

suppose

Wrong verb form

supposed

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to ruin our social and healthy

life

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. To address the problem of not balancing our

life

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Firstly

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time

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management is the key. 90% of people fail to

fulfilled

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fulfil

show examples

their other parts of

life

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because they do not know how to manage their

time

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. They just waste their

time

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on phones and video games after

work

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. Rather than spending

time

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with their family or going to the gym.

Secondly

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, having a task schedule could actually help. You can track yourself by the schedule.

As a result

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of that, you will be more aware of what you do in the day.

Finally

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, taking days off from

work

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to relax and enjoy some

time

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with your loved

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

is a good idea. In conclusion, having a balanced

life

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with

work

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and other

life

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parts depends on

time

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management. Everyone should be aware of that.

Submitted by reem.rz112 on Thu Sep 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words and phrases can help connect ideas and make the essay flow better.

task achievement

You should provide more specific examples and details to fully support your points. This will strengthen your task response and make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes the essay easy to follow.

task achievement

The main points are generally clear and relevant to the topic, addressing both causes and solutions to the problem of balancing work and life.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
burnout
flexible work arrangements
remote work
unplug
boundaries
workplace culture
societal pressure
stress management
time management

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Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some believes that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fromyour own knowledge or experience.

Some think that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together. Others, however, think that hosting the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.