TASK 2: Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

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The issue of balancing between our job and our lifestyle has become a subject of discussion in recent years. Some people manage to balance their lives
while
others can't.
This
essay will discuss the causes of
this
situation and provide some solutions. First and foremost. To have a good
life
we need to fulfill our needs.
Such
as having family and friends to be with.
Also
, taking care of our bodies. Doing regular exercises and eating healthy meals
are
Change the verb form
is
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crucial to have a great
life
.
Moreover
, of course, we need achievements in our careers. So we can have money to establish all these things I mentioned above we need to
work
.
Therefore
. Having a job is important as the other parts of our
life
.
However
, it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not
suppose
Wrong verb form
supposed
show examples
to ruin our social and healthy
life
. To address the problem of not balancing our
life
.
Firstly
,
time
management is the key. 90% of people fail to
fulfilled
Change the verb
fulfil
show examples
their other parts of
life
because they do not know how to manage their
time
. They just waste their
time
on phones and video games after
work
. Rather than spending
time
with their family or going to the gym.
Secondly
, having a task schedule could actually help. You can track yourself by the schedule.
As a result
of that, you will be more aware of what you do in the day.
Finally
, taking days off from
work
to relax and enjoy some
time
with your loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
is a good idea. In conclusion, having a balanced
life
with
work
and other
life
parts depends on
time
management. Everyone should be aware of that.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words and phrases can help connect ideas and make the essay flow better.
task achievement
You should provide more specific examples and details to fully support your points. This will strengthen your task response and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The main points are generally clear and relevant to the topic, addressing both causes and solutions to the problem of balancing work and life.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
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