All parents want the best opportunity for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for children’s future. Discuss both of the views and give your opinion.
Many parents want their
children
to focus intensively on academic subjects
such
as math, science, and languages, while
some people consider that children
should learn practical skills
that fulfill
their Change the spelling
fulfil
future
careers. In this
essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my opinion.
Learning practical skills
such
as computer programming and essay writing can help students
increase employability and gain more opportunities in future
careers, rather than focusing solely on academic subjects
. Schools should provide a customized curriculum that suits each learner’s interests
and talents. For example
, students
who aspire to be artists can take drawing and painting classes, as well as
learn computer skills
like animation and 3D modeling
. I firmly agree with Change the spelling
modelling
this
approach because it is essential for schools to tailor curriculums to fit children
’s preferences and help them achieve their future
goals.
On the other hand
, it can be argued that learning a compulsory curriculum that includes subjects
like math, science, and language improves knowledge and helps children
explore and pursue their interests
. By learning a variety of subjects
, children
can discover their talents and passions. For example
, some students
are inspired by school subjects
and want to pursue them further
in university. However
, I disagree with the notion that not every class will match all children
’s interests
and passions.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that schools should teach practical skills
to students
by designing courses based on children
’s interests
. This
approach better prepares them for their future
careers and helps them achieve their personal goals.Submitted by bhavifasai on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, but you could improve the logical flow by adding more transitional phrases between paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Although you provided relevant examples, more diverse examples could strengthen your argument. Try using examples from different fields or even anecdotal evidence.
task achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by including a summary of the main points you discussed. This will make your conclusion more impactful and provide a clearer closure.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear and concise introduction that sets up the essay well.
complete response
The essay covers both perspectives comprehensively, and your opinion is well-integrated into the discussion.
supported main points
Each main point is clearly supported with relevant examples, which enhances the credibility of your arguments.