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Band 6.5

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #time #say #activities
Numerous time studying is spent by full-time higher education learners, many individuals assume that
students
 ought to do more
activities
besides
 learning. In my opinion, I agree with
this
 viewpoint because success requires more than studying.
To begin
 with,
students
 in almost all universities should do other
activities
hence
 nowadays the experience is
also
 extremely essential. In recent years, a lot of
students
 who have a lot of valuable knowledge are still unemployed because many jobs require that they need to have more experience.
That is
 the reason why
besides
 studying at university, learners have to practice in real life.
For example
, they can have some part-time jobs in order to have some practical skills
such
 as solving solutions, teamwork, time management and a chance to use their knowledge in real situations.
As a result
, full-time university
students
 not only have some special tips in their subject,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
experience but
also
 help them prepare for their future work. The main reason why I assume that full-time higher education learners should have more things to do since they need to discover and shape themselves.
Students
 might have in their heads some outside
activities
 including volunteer
activities
, meeting and community with partners, participating in some clubs, discovering hobbies, and doing some projects.
Moreover
, it can help them find their dreams, boost their potential and identify
students
 clearly. In conclusion, nowadays,
students
 should study at university because they may face unemployment.
Therefore
, I would agree with doing more
activities
besides
 studying
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and identifying their potential and goals.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved by clearly outlining the main points in the introduction and effectively summarizing the arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
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task achievement
While ideas are clear, try to develop them more fully by providing detailed explanations and examples. Aim for depth in your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and offers a clear viewpoint on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph attempts to present a distinct idea, which is successful in maintaining focus throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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