In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Traditional
festivals
hold significant cultural value, yet many are at risk of fading into the unknown. This
essay will argue that the disappearance of these festivals
indicated threats to cultural identity
and tourism, and it will propose solutions to address this
issue.
Traditional festivals
are related to cultural heritage which would create harmful issues if it
disappeared from the world. Correct pronoun usage
they
Firstly
, people will face a crisis of identity related
to the authenticity of the culture. Add a hyphen
identity-related
This
will direct individuals to adopt foreign cultures and tend to follow the trend. For example
, people who live far from their home land
may lose touch with their traditional festivities Correct your spelling
homeland
due to
limited exposure. It means that they can not preserve the sense of culture from
their country and Change preposition
of
this
leads to losing the
Change the word
their
identity
. To mitigate this
, the government should organise more traditional events and force the new generation to embrace the culture by including it in school
curriculum.
Add an article
the school
Furthermore
, when the traditional festival disappears it will reduce tourist attractions. As we know, travellers often enjoy unique cultural experiences including the traditional festival. Without these events, countries may lose tourism profit
. Fix the agreement mistake
profits
Hence
, new generations should be more aware of how important traditional festivals
are in attracting visitors and preserving cultural heritage.
In conclusion, traditional festivals
play a vital role in preserving cultural identity
and attracting tourists. To anticipate this
, the government should be proactive in promoting these traditional festivals
and by doing this
societies will embrace the sense of belonging through celebrating more events and passing the awareness to the young generations.Submitted by raymond.sebastianvl on
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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence & cohesion
Work on crafting clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence & cohesion
Include more varied sentence structures and connective phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on how traditional festivals contribute to preserving cultural identity and why this is significant, to improve task achievement.
task achievement
Incorporate firsthand experiences or case studies to make your arguments more tangible and engaging for the reader.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...