Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries. Others however, believe it is unnecessary because TV and the Internet can give all the same information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued by many individuals that if you want to learn about new territories,
then
you need to travel those
Change preposition
to those
countries
personally. Whereas
some believe that same information is provided on internet
and TV
as well. I completely agree to
the ideas and will support my opinion in Change preposition
with
this
essay.
Commencing the first idea, learning new things about different countries
in the world is important and this
can only be done through
visiting those states personally because through Change preposition
by
this
one
will get real life
experience there. Add a hyphen
real-life
Moreover
, they will also
get detailed knowledge about the cultures and traditions, which is only possible through fact to face
interaction with the natives. Correct your spelling
face-to-face
Also
they will be able to know about their dishes and will be able to taste them, which is not possible through the Add a comma
Also,
TV
or Correct article usage
the internet
internet
. Capitalize word
Internet
For example
, Pakistan is a hub of many traditions. One
can only learn it's
norms and values through visiting Replace the word
its
different
Add an article
a different
the different
area
that Fix the agreement mistake
areas
are
Change the verb form
is
enrich
in cultures, like Sawat, KPK, Wrong verb form
enriched
Sindh
. All these places have distinct Correct word choice
and Sindh
culture
, which can only be Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
exprienced
after visiting them.
Moving to the second idea, Correct your spelling
experienced
as
it is the time of social media andCorrect word choice
apply
every thing
is available on the Correct your spelling
everything
internet
in the form of articles, blogs or
video clips etc. So, it is easier for today's generations Correct word choice
apply
that
they can not only learn about the culture of foreign Correct word choice
apply
countries
, but also
they can see country's
landscapes, foods and traditional outfits in pictures and videos, which is similar to Correct article usage
the country's
real life
touch. Add a hyphen
real-life
Furtheremore
, learning through the Correct your spelling
Furthermore
internet
and TV
also
saves the traveling
expenses of the people. But no Change the spelling
travelling
one
can deny the fact that it is the illusionto
get the charm of live experience and atmosphere through Correct your spelling
illusion to
illusion
internet
and Correct article usage
the internet
TV
. Let's take the example of Turkey, which is a famous tourist destination because of it's
Replace the word
its
fabalous
cuisine and beautiful places. It is possible to get information about their cuisine and beautiful landscapes Correct your spelling
fabulous
inform
of pictures and videos, but Correct your spelling
in form
still
Add a comma
still,
one
can not taste and feel the real atmosphere of those particular areas.
Hence
, it is proven that every single knowledge about nations, is available on the internet
and TV
, but if one
want
to experience the real taste of their dishes and want to Change the verb form
wants
breath
in their atmosphere, Replace the word
breathe
then
it is important to visit those countries
personally.Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language and style
Try to introduce more complex sentence structures and a variety of vocabulary to make your writing more compelling and engaging.
language and style
Work on improving grammar and punctuation. There are minor errors throughout the essay that can be corrected to make your argument and points clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Always make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and relates back to the main thesis. This can improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.
supporting points
Include a broader variety of examples and evidence to support your main points. This will make your argument more robust and convincing.
introduction
The introduction clearly states both views and provides your stance on the topic, which sets a clear direction for the essay.
supporting points
The examples provided are clear and relevant, particularly the one about Pakistan, which adds depth to your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives comprehensively and provides a balanced discussion, making it a well-rounded response to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.