In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Educating
children
at
home
is becoming an option more commonly found among
parents
in some countries, with some
believed
Wrong verb form
believing
show examples
that
this
schooling method is more advantageous compared to
children
going to
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
This
paper will assess the pros and cons for
parents
teaching their
children
at
home
, and provide some personal insights.
Firstly
,
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
show examples
reduces the
overall
education
quality for
children
to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
. Most teachers who are employed by
schools
and educational institutions are qualified with professional degrees in
education
, with the combination of well-designed course structures, resources and
hardwares
Correct your spelling
hardware
such
as whiteboards and playgrounds,
schools
were designed to maximise students' ability to achieve academic
successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
show examples
. Contrastingly,
parents
who prefer teaching their kids at
home
can only
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
so at a compacted environment constraint in resources, where I do not believe
this
is the right location for
children
to learn.
Secondly
,
parents
who do not intend to bring their kids to
school
are hindering their opportunities to socialise with their peers.
Children
attending
schools
learn and
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
knowledge in classes that usually consist of 20 students
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
a similar age, where
children
can interact, build friendships and share interests with their peers.
According to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted by the University of London,
children
who were unable to attend
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
were 3 times
likely
Correct quantifier usage
more likely
show examples
to have a diagnosis
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Autism with more difficulties in communicating with other people. Based on
such
facts, I am certain that keeping
children
at
home
for
education
can be harmful to their development.
Although
there are opinions showing that
children
's
school
engagement is necessary, some
parents
believe that with the invention of the new working mode of "work from
home
", teaching their
children
by themselves was an option increasingly feasible and beneficial to reduce costs for
children
's
education
needs.
However
, if
parents
are still required to work during the day and
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
to
be multitasking
Wrong verb form
multitask
show examples
on
Change preposition
while
show examples
teaching their kids
on the other hand
, I am sceptic of the effectiveness of
this
method in enabling
children
to absorb knowledge in comparison to
schools
. All in all, based on different facts I am pessimistic that
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
show examples
is an option more ideal than enrolling a child
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
. In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
parents
shold
Correct your spelling
should
bare
Correct your spelling
bear
show examples
the most responsibility in ensuring their
children
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have the best quality of
education
and opportunities when it is possible, that I do not believe the capacity of
parents
teaching
Change the verb form
to teach
show examples
children
at
home
can beat the quality and effectiveness of the teachers and the environment of
school
campuses.
Submitted by 788seal on

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general
Ensure to proofread your work to eliminate grammatical errors and typos. Consider using complex sentence structures to enhance the fluency of your writing.
task achievement
You could improve by providing more specific examples and studies to support your points, as this adds credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas can be improved. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, with clear connections between points. This can be achieved through the use of cohesive devices.
task achievement
You have effectively outlined the main arguments against home schooling, which shows a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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