Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whilst others oppose the fact that young people should pursue full-time

education

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after the

age

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of 18, I believe that advocating for

such

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a statement is justifiable. On the one hand, it is beneficial for

children

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to orientate their

future

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at a young

age

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Firstly

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, a

child

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could possess the ability to acquire new

skills

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and knowledge faster and that ability can be lost when they reach a certain

age

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in the

future

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. Since

children

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are still in their developing stage, their ability to study new specialized knowledge is more rapid and would be beneficial for them when they grow up.

For instance

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, in some countries, parents have tried to teach their

children

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mathematics at a very young

age

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, and they are very successful compared to their counterparts.

Furthermore

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, full-time

education

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at a young

age

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could

also

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help them not to get surprised in the academic environment in the

future

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On the other hand

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, the statement of letting

children

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learn specialized knowledge when they were a

child

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could be detrimental to the

child

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future

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and health.

Initially

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, a

child

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needs practical

skills

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and a memorable childhood before they mature. Since practical

skills

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are more imperative than specialized

skills

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for their

future

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, a

child

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gather

such

Linking Words

skills

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in their first stage of life when they try to adapt to their new life, helping them to be more flexible in life and hindering them from stress and mental degradation, which would occur when human doing a full-time specialized

education

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Moreover

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, having a good childhood could increase their emotional intellect, which is essential for their maturity. In conclusion,

while

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children

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under the standard mature

age

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having full-time

education

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does have myriad advantages, the disadvantages

outweighed

Wrong verb form

outweigh

show examples

the advantages since it could be detrimental for them as a

child

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and their own

future

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bendy.anhleFri Sep 27 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your examples are specific and clearly support your main points. For instance, you mentioned that teaching mathematics at an early age is beneficial, but providing more details or statistics could strengthen this example.

coherence cohesion

Some of your sentences are quite long and complex, which can make them harder to follow. Try to break these down into shorter, clearer sentences to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammar mistakes and awkward phrasing. For example, instead of 'letting children learn specialized knowledge when they were a child,' use 'letting children learn specialized knowledge at a young age.'

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear introduction and conclusion sections, which makes your argument easy to follow.

task achievement

You've presented both sides of the argument fairly, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

This drawing guides you through the steps for making freeze-dried coffee from start to finish. This is a linear process.

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Countries should start using nuclear power as their main source of energy; fossil fuels (i.e. coal, oil and gas) are not going to last forever and nuclear power is the cheapest alternative. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some areas of US, a "curfew" is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult. what is your opinion about this?

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?