The ınternet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.
With the development of the
internet
, people
can easily keep in touch via Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms. Some think that it is a positive progress of the internet
, but others believe it is not. From my perspective, I contend that this
is positive while
this
way brings us so many advantages, despite some negative aspects. In this
essay, I will discuss it.
Granted, there is one main reason that people
might think the way we communicate has been changed positively, which is to help us reduce the significance of distance. Nowadays, there are still so many people
living or studying far away from their families, as a result
, those people
who receive the most benefits from it. Instead
of sending emails for a few months, they now practically can call their Dad or mom right away if they want, no matter how far they are. In addition
to keeping in touch, those employees living overseas, still can exchange information about work with each other or have meetings online which the other ways of communication are not able to do. Hence
, people
believe that the Internet
is an ideal place for chatting, working on debates, or keeping in touch with families.
On the other hand
, others trust that it is a negative one. in reality, many people
are addicted to the internet
spending all their time chatting and surfing social media in lieu of interacting with friends or families in person. As a consequence
, this
problem leads to a lot of mental health issues, such
as being stressed, feeling alone, or depressed which causes people
to think that the internet
only has adverse impacts. However
, these problems actually come from other deep-rooted issues in our society like being isolated, bullied, or even impoverished which push those into addicting these internet
platforms while
others are still utilizing them effectively.
In conclusion, the internet
really has a huge progress and positive impact on our communication which helps us communicate much easier and quicker. In spite of some circumstances using social media to chat too much could lead to some harmful effects, but those usually stem from other problems in our society.Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on
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Task Achievement
You have clearly presented both viewpoints as well as your own opinion, which is excellent. Try to make your opinion even more prominent throughout the essay for a stronger argument.
Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion. To enhance clarity, consider directly stating the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure, linking ideas smoothly. However, pay attention to paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for greater clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to indicate contrasts, reasons, and consequences more clearly. This will make your argumentation even stronger.
Task Achievement
The essay covers both views and your own stance, providing a balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
You provide specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example