The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . 

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .
The given chart illustrates the information about senior developers who participate
three
Change preposition
in three
show examples
companies, including
IBM
,
Microsoft
,
Apple
Correct word choice
and Apple
show examples
, from 1980 to 2010
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
noticeable change can be observed, with
IBM
showing
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
increase over the given period,
while
Apple
remained steady.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
Microsoft
can be seen that the trend was stable, except for the
last
year. In detail,
IBM
experienced a sharp rise from around 3% to over 60% between 1980 and 2010.
Additionally
, in half of the given period (1995, 2000 and 2010),
IBM
had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher percentages than
Microsoft
and
Apple
, especially in 2010, with 62%,45% and 35% respectively.
On the other hand
,
Microsoft
and
Apple
fluctuated
steady
Change the adjective
steadily
show examples
. In
Apple
, compared 1985 with 1995, which was the lowest and the highest percentage, there was just
approximely
Correct your spelling
approximately
6% change. Meanwhile.
Although
Micorosoft
Correct your spelling
Microsoft
had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
smiliar
Correct your spelling
similar
trend
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Apple
,
Microsoft
had once
rapidly
Change the word
rapid
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
between 2000 and 2010,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
the percentage climbed by 30%.
Submitted by kwakjim777 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ibm, microsoft, apple with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage participation
  • senior development roles
  • observed trends
  • notable increases/decreases
  • significant changes
  • consistency over time
  • influencing factors
  • industry shifts
  • socio-economic factors
  • comparison of data
  • similarities and differences
  • overall trends
  • implications
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