The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .

#bar #percentage #participation #men #development #three #companies #year #summaries #information #features #comparisons

The given chart illustrates the information about senior developers who participate

three

Change preposition

in three

show examples

companies, including

IBM

Microsoft

Apple

Correct word choice

and Apple

show examples

, from 1980 to 2010

Overall

the

Correct article usage

show examples

noticeable change can be observed, with

IBM

showing

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

increase over the given period,

while

Apple

remained steady.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

Microsoft

can be seen that the trend was stable, except for the

last

year. In detail,

IBM

experienced a sharp rise from around 3% to over 60% between 1980 and 2010.

Additionally

, in half of the given period (1995, 2000 and 2010),

IBM

had

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher percentages than

Microsoft

and

Apple

, especially in 2010, with 62%,45% and 35% respectively.

On the other hand

Microsoft

and

Apple

fluctuated

steady

Change the adjective

steadily

show examples

. In

Apple

, compared 1985 with 1995, which was the lowest and the highest percentage, there was just

approximely

Correct your spelling

approximately

6% change. Meanwhile.

Although

Micorosoft

Correct your spelling

Microsoft

had

the

Correct article usage

show examples

smiliar

Correct your spelling

similar

trend

with

Change preposition

show examples

Apple

Microsoft

had once

rapidly

Change the word

rapid

show examples

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

between 2000 and 2010,

which

Correct word choice

when

show examples

the percentage climbed by 30%.

Submitted by kwakjim777 on Fri Sep 27 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ibm, microsoft, apple with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

153 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentage participation
senior development roles
observed trends
notable increases/decreases
significant changes
consistency over time
influencing factors
industry shifts
socio-economic factors
comparison of data
similarities and differences
overall trends
implications

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The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .

Its is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been suggested that primary school children should be taught how to grow vegetables and keep animals. To what extent the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects.others believe it is more importantto give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification