The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the process of producing
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, it is a seven-phase Man-made, linear process. It begins with the growing of
sugar
cane and ends with the drying and cooling of
sugar
this
process will be completed without any adding for raw materials.
To begin
,
sugar
cane is needed for 12-18 months for growing, after it is grown the farmer starts harvesting all of the canes by hand or by truck to collect the canes.
Then
, crushed
this
harvested
sugar
manually to produce a
juice
.
Next,
use of limestone filter to filter purified
juice
. In the subsequent stage, the evaporator will begin by pouring the
juice
into the oven and letting it for a high degree of hotness until
this
juice
becomes syrup.
Following
this
,
sugar
crystals were separated from syrup in order to centrifuge.
Finally
, dried and cooled collected
sugar
was before being transported to the stores.
Submitted by rraghad.b on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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