In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #care #relatives #professionals #development

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People

are handing over the well-being of their elderly

members

of their family to professional caregivers rather than themselves in many nations.

This

essay

also

agrees with

this

initiative because

this

puts relief on

families

to reduce the burden off their shoulders, and the older family

members

can be taken

care

of in a better way by

professionals

. The primary reason is, that

people

hand over the

care

of their elderly family

members

to professional caregivers is that they cannot do it the way they should do it;

that is

why they seek help from those who are trained in

this

specific field of welfare.

On the other hand

, nowadays

people

are busy with daily life and want to hand over

this

crucial task to

professionals

to pay respect to their elderly.

For example

, in my developed countries, there are designated

shelters

that provide services to retirees and older

people

, whereby

families

are paying for the services of these

shelters

to take

care

of their older family

members

. The second main reason is that, for the well-being of these older

members

, some of the older

people

need special

care

, which most

families

are not capable of doing so, and only the elderly home

shelters

can provide;

however

, some retirees save money for their retirement, and they go to these

shelters

voluntarily to live in the rest of their lives, these places specially designed to take

care

of aged ones in a great environment with all social and cultural activities.

For instance

, in the USA, 80 per cent of

people

save some amount of money during their longevity for retirement and live in

shelters

with better

care

. In conclusion, the trend that

people

are seeking support from

professionals

for the well-being of their elderly

members

families

has become prevailing.

Firstly

, most

members

families

are busy with overwhelmed schedules and are not able to pay additional

care

to their elders, which is very critical in many cultures;

secondly

, some of the retired

members

need special

care

, which only those who are

professionals

this

area can handle appropriately.

Submitted by am.edrees on Sat Sep 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure and flow between your ideas. Sometimes, sentences feel disjointed, and better connection words or transitional phrases can help.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases and make sure each point you present adds a new dimension or evidence to your argument. Some points felt redundant or excessively explanatory.

task achievement

Revise your essay to ensure all ideas are clearly understood. Some sentences seem dense and may not be easily understood upon first reading.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are strong and provide a clear framework for your essay.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples that support your main points, which greatly aids in illustrating your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotic and as a result people garvitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other rewards that a job can offer. What do you think the main consideration when deciding what job to take should be?