IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do, but others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems well by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that there are different views on how
children
Use synonyms
 should be raised and educated. Some people believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should obey
rules
Use synonyms
 and follow the instructions of parents and teachers,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that excessive control prevents them from developing independence and problem-solving abilities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support strict
rules
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
 provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent benefits is that clear guidance helps
children
Use synonyms
 understand acceptable behaviour and develop discipline. To illustrate,
rules
Use synonyms
 provide structure and teach
children
Use synonyms
 respect for authority, which is important in both school and society.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 who learn to follow instructions in classrooms are often better prepared for future responsibilities in higher education and the workplace. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
Linking Words
 have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that excessive control may limit
children
Use synonyms
’s independence and confidence. To clarify, when
children
Use synonyms
 are not allowed to make decisions or learn from mistakes, they may struggle to solve problems on their own later in life.
For example
Linking Words
, students who are constantly directed by adults may find it difficult to adapt when they face unfamiliar situations without guidance, which can affect their emotional development and resilience. To recapitulate, it is evident that some people support strict
rules
Use synonyms
 because they promote discipline and social order,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that too much control can weaken
children
Use synonyms
’s independence. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should be guided by clear
rules
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 given opportunities to make decisions and learn from experience, as
this
Linking Words
 balanced approach best prepares them for adult life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
Start with a clear line that says your view.
tip
Add more real life examples to show your ideas.
tip
Finish with a short end that repeats your view.
note
Use easy words to link parts, so the flow is smoother.
content
Two sides are shown and your own view is clear.
structure
The essay has easy to read order with paragraphs for each idea.
language
Link words help flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: