IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourages people from doing activities which usually involves very little risk To what explain do you agree or disagree

These days, the media often focuses on negative stories
such
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 as crimes and accidents. I completely agree that they should limit bad
news
Use synonyms
 because it can make
people
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 afraid and harm their mental health. I fully agree with that since it hardly affects
people
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's minds ,
for example
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, if
people
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 plan to go somewhere and want to know about the country's
news
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 , they hear about disturbing stories,
as a result
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 , they never go to
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this
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 place. Too much bad
news
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 makes
people
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 believe the world is dangerous.
For instance
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 ,
people
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 who see the violent
news
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 can make
people
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 fear , so they think deeply , if they commit these kinds of
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
, they will definitely be punished.
In addition
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,
people
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 who watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
news
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 always do something carefully ,
such
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 as in public places or at night.
Moreover
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, the crimes almost 80 per cent happen at night. Another important reason is that too much negative
news
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 can harm
people
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's mental health and create a negative mood in society.
For example
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,
people
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 watch
crime
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news
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 every day , and they always think about bad things ,
such
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 as
cause
Replace the word
causing
show examples
 stress, sadness and anxiety.
Consequently
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, they always worry about their life and do not trust
people
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, plus they always think negatively.
That is
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 why the government should stop watching
people
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's dangerous
crime
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news
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 or reading violent reports.
Furthermore
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many
people
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 who watched disturbing
news
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 every day felt depressed and scared to leave their homes.
To sum up
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 , I strongly agree that the media should limit the amount of bad
news
Use synonyms
 they report. Continuous exposure to negative stories can create unnecessary fear and harm
people
Use synonyms
's mental health.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short line that shows your view. Then add two clear reasons and a short end.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a clear sentence that states the point.
content
Use clear and simple examples. Do not use facts you are not sure about. If you mention numbers, be careful.
grammar
Check grammar and punctuation. Use full stops and commas to end and join ideas.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas are linked, like 'also', 'but', 'because'.
strength
You state your view clearly.
development
You give some examples to back your point.
structure
There is a short end that restates your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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