IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Ordinary people try to copy famous personalities by seeing them on TV and reading them on newspaper. What is the reason. Is it a good or bad idea.

#people #copy #personalities #tv #newspaper #reason #idea
In
this
 modern era,
while
 social media is taking over the world, influencers and
idols
 have more impact on viewers' personalities. Some individuals tend to intimate famous lifestyles by following them on broadcast or newspaper.
This
 essay will discuss the causes and the disadvantages and advantages of
this
 situation.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that most if not all of the famous influencers and
idols
 on social media are successful
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their specific field.
Therefore
, the viewers who
also
 want to have an achievement in their life will follow the famous people that they know.
For example
,
according to
 the New York Times, autobiography is the best seller type of book from 2020 to 2024. It is proof that readers would like to follow celebrities and copy their characteristics so that they can be as successful as their
idols
. From my point of view, following the characteristics of celebrities is a good way to widespread
well-behavior
Change the spelling
well-behaviour
show examples
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
 ordinary people. Combined with the ability of propaganda, good personalities would be intimated by ordinary people, and
then
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society would become better.
However
, it is clear to see that not all of the
idols
 are well-behaved. Regarding the youth who have not had ethical standards yet, they could be impacted by the infamous influencers.
For instance
, after Diddy, who is well-known as a rapper and a producer, was arrested in May 2024
due to
 being a drug dealer and a raper, some fans still try to protect him by providing fake information.
To conclude
, certain individuals copy their
idols
 seen on different social networks as a way of making funds for a living since most of them are not working.
This
 is not a bad move because they make clean cash. These and other issues are discussed above at length.
Submitted by buihuuminh99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to use smoother transitions between paragraphs or points to make the essay flow better. For example, after discussing the success of famous influencers, introduce the next point with linking phrases.
task achievement
Expand on both the advantages and disadvantages more comprehensively. Providing a more balanced view would improve task achievement.
task achievement
Proofread the essay to catch minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will help in delivering clearer, more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is fundamental in IELTS.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, such as the New York Times autobiography sales, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion encapsulate your main points effectively, which helps in rounding off your essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: