IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Demand for oil and gas is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The rising global demand for non-renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 is driving governments and corporations to exploit untouched and environmentally fragile regions.
While
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 some believe
this
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 trend secures national prosperity, others argue that it causes irreversible harm.
This
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 essay contends that
although
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 resource extraction offers limited economic relief, its ecological and financial drawbacks far outweigh the advantages. Two major drawbacks—climate consequences and unsustainable costs—will be examined in detail. Supporters of fossil fuel exploitation argue that it enhances
energy
Use synonyms
 security, reducing reliance on foreign imports.
For example
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, countries with newly discovered oil and gas fields can stabilise supply chains and protect themselves from geopolitical shocks.
Such
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 stability may
also
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 foster short-term economic growth through job creation and public revenue.
However
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, these benefits are temporary and cannot offset the long-term damage caused by overreliance on hydrocarbons. A major drawback of drilling in pristine territories is environmental degradation, which accelerates climate change.
For instance
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, large-scale extraction releases greenhouse gases and often damages fragile ecosystems through deforestation, oil spills, and biodiversity loss. Beyond ecological harm, these projects demand immense financial investment in remote infrastructure, often leaving governments burdened with debt when reserves are smaller than expected.
Consequently
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,
such
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 ventures undermine sustainability and impose greater risks than rewards. To summarise, fossil fuel development may provide temporary gains in
energy
Use synonyms
 security and employment
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 leads to severe ecological destruction and unsustainable economic strain.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the drawbacks decisively outweigh the advantages. Looking ahead, policymakers should prioritise renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 investment to ensure a stable and environmentally responsible future.

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task response
Your position is clear and the essay has a simple plan. To raise the score, add more facts or numbers to show the cost and harm of digging for oil and gas. Also widen the view to more areas like health, money and local life.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a good frame: intro, two body parts, and a close. Use linking words to show how ideas fit. Some sentences are long; turn long lines into shorter sentences. Start each paragraph with a clear idea sentence and keep one main idea per paragraph.
task response
Clear stance that the drawbacks beat the good
coherence cohesion
Good overall structure: intro, body, conclusion
coherence cohesion
Use of linking words to connect ideas

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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