You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter ● explain why you changed jobs ● describe your new job ● tell him/her your other news. Begin your letter as follows:

#work #company #friend #jobs #job #news

Dear Emily, I'm writing to tell you about the job switch I made recently. My current employer gave me a huge package that includes twice the salary of my

last

job and

also

it comes with perks and benefits like daily allowances, and complete reimbursement of food bills.

Along with

these, they'll

also

pay my rent per month. My new job provides more than just higher salaries and perks, it allows me to work in the cutting-edge technology of AI. I will be working with a group of AI experts from Silicon Valley in the US for the next five years to solve a lot of problems for small businesses in India using AI. In other news, I took a pet. It's a dog, the breed is a beagle and his name's Apple. He's a young pup right now, and can barely walk. All he does is bark all day for attention, which I love to give him. I'll send you his pictures sometime later. Anyway, looking forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Nilesh

Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on Sun Sep 29 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on the reasons why the perks and benefits are important to you. This would give more depth to your explanation for changing jobs.

coherence cohesion

Ensure there are smooth transitions between your paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

The letter has an engaging and friendly tone which is suitable for writing to a friend.

coherence cohesion

The letter is well-structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different point.

coherence cohesion

The use of personal anecdotes, like adopting a pet, adds a personal touch and enriches the narrative.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

175 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter ● explain why you changed jobs ● describe your new job ● tell him/her your other news. Begin your letter as follows:

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of spesific come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Employers should give their workers at least one month’s holiday a year, as it makes them better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.