Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

While
there are several benefits associated with
children
spending hours on their
smartphones
, I firmly believe that the main drawbacks, particularly regarding their
health
and cognitive development, are far more significant. On the one hand, a notable advantage of
smartphone
usage among
children
is the accessibility and convenience it offers. Modern
smartphones
provide instant access to a vast array of educational resources, allowing
children
to learn at their own pace, which can support their academic growth.
For example
, many educational apps and online tutorials help reinforce classroom learning in a more interactive manner. Another perceived benefit is the entertainment value
smartphones
offer, particularly through gaming. Certain games are designed to enhance cognitive abilities,
such
as problem-solving and quick decision-making, which may be beneficial to
children
鈥檚 mental development.
On the other hand
, a primary disadvantage of excessive
smartphone
use
is the risk of addiction and dependency. Had
children
been less reliant on their
smartphones
, they would likely spend more time engaging in productive activities like outdoor play or socializing with peers, both of which are essential for their social and emotional development.
Furthermore
, prolonged
use
of
smartphones
can negatively impact
children
鈥檚 physical and mental
health
. Extensive screen time often results in a sedentary lifestyle, contributing to
health
issues like obesity.
Additionally
, frequent
use
of social media can increase anxiety and stress levels among
children
, as they are constantly exposed to unrealistic ideals and peer pressure. In conclusion,
although
smartphone
usage among
children
may offer certain educational and entertainment benefits, the negative impacts in terms of addiction and adverse effects on both physical and mental
health
significantly outweigh these advantages.
Therefore
, I believe that limiting
children
's
smartphone
use
is crucial to ensuring their well-being.
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task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Try to use a more varied range of linking words to enhance the flow and connectivity of your ideas.
logical structure
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
The main points are sufficiently supported and well-reasoned, offering a balanced discussion on both the benefits and drawbacks of children using smartphones.
introduction conclusion present
You effectively maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay with logical transitions between paragraphs and within them.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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