IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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Nowadays, environmental damage is a pressing issue that affects many countries around the world. Unfortunately, politics, just
as well as
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 many scientists tend to pay attention only to a small part of the whole dilemma –
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming.
Whereas
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 the other noticeable factors
such
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 as deforestation, air, water and soil pollution, spreading of invasive species etc. are left behind. For that reason, multiple steps must be taken in
this
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 regard. In
this
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 essay, the mentioned factors and the comprehensive solution to
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 question will be represented. At
first,
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we live in an era of consumption.
As a consequence
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, only
few
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a few
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 of us take care of the environment.
This
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 is the major factor which is utterly undervalued. After all, minor or medium issues will impel the others. All things in the world are interconnected.
For example
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, deforestation does enhance the greenhouse effect – trees absorb carbon dioxide. Another good and clear-cut example is how contamination, with different wastes,
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 ecosystem collapses, resulting in
wide
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the wide
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 spreading of invasive species, which may survive in human-made harsh conditions replacing the local flora and fauna.
Then
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, biological sameness and ecosystem disruptions are the inevitable consequence. To make the situation better everyone should be informed that the dilemma is complex and multifaceted and it is necessary to take care of the planet comprehensively.
For instance
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, every plastic bag thrown away from a rubbish (discarded outside the bin) bin must be counted.
Also
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, it is recommended for scientists and
politics
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politicians
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 to make strides in waste recycling, creating principally (fully) new energy sources, not based on fossil fuel, and so on. In short summary, cohesion – the consensus and versatile approach are the only solution. In conclusion, humanity
have
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has
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 already wiped out a lot of species and destroyed numerous unique ecosystems. We should not have taken for granted the wealth of nature; What humans can do now is
doing
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do
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 their best to save the rest of the environment until it is too late.
Otherwise
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, the diversity will continue shrinking.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of environmental damage and mentions multiple causes and potential solutions. However, the ideas could be elaborated more to provide a deeper insight into each cause and solution.
task achievement
Ensure that every point raised is fully explained and supported with examples. For instance, when discussing deforestation or invasive species, consider providing specific instances or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the essay, but transitioning between different points can be smoother. Using transitional words and phrases can help create better coherent connections between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented. However, consider restating the key points from the body of the essay in the conclusion to give your essay a cohesive finish.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your points well.
complete response
You have addressed various aspects of environmental damage, highlighting the complexity of the issue.
relevant specific examples
The examples given, like deforestation and invasive species, provide a relevant context for your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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