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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

It is argued in certain states, the
youth
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 are not using their right to vote.
This
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 could lead to government
policies
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 that do not represent young
people
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's aspirations. The viable solutions to
this
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 would be to create accessible online
platforms
Use synonyms
 for election-related information and encourage more young
people
Use synonyms
 to vote through more engaging
campaigns
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. Politicians with
policies
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 that do not align with the needs of
youth
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 would be one of the
problems
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this
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 phenomenon caused.
That is
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 to say, if many young
people
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 do not participate in elections or politics in general, it is harder to pressure politicians to implement
policies
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 that accommodate young
people
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's needs and aspirations. In times when the future is highly uncertain with
problems
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 like climate change and geopolitical conflicts,
policies
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 that do not tackle these issues
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
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 could result in many enormous
problems
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 in the future.
For example
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, a recent study found that states are most likely to abandon climate change
policies
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 when the number of young
people
Use synonyms
's votes is low. One suitable solution for
this
Linking Words
 is to create accessible online
platforms
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as websites and social media accounts where young
people
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 can access information related to the election. Since most young
people
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 use the internet and social media a lot, online
platforms
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 will be beneficial to easily expose young
people
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 to the election. Another way to overcome
this
Linking Words
 would be to create interesting
campaigns
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 that encourage more
youth
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 to participate in the election.
Due to
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 the fact that many
youth
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 are bored with the conventional, old-school ways of campaigning,
campaigns
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 that are more engaging and playful for the
youth
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 will likely persuade them to vote.
For example
Linking Words
, a platform created by BijakDemokrasi in Indonesia,
along with
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 their
campaigns
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 in social media
such
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 as TikTok and Instagram, are often regarded as impactful initiatives to boost young
people
Use synonyms
's votes.
To conclude
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,
problems
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such
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 as the lack of
policies
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 that tackle future
problems
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 would happen with the declining number of
youth
Use synonyms
 votes.
This
Linking Words
 could be overcome with solutions
such
Linking Words
 as the existence of online
platforms
Use synonyms
 and fresh campaign strategies.

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coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported, enhancing the logical flow of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
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