IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem?

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These days, a lot of cities have traffic congestion
due to
 the constant buying of cars for the
last
 3 decades. From my perspective,
this
 statement is correct, as it is evident from the traffic-related issues we face nowadays.
Moreover
,
this
 is because of the increasing population and
hence
, the government should take measures to slow down the increasing population rate and limit the number of automobiles on the road. First and foremost, across the world, populace growth has been rapid leading to the requirement of more resources, including vehicles.
For instance
, Honda, annually reports a surge rate of automobile sales, and the company has gradually expanded its locations throughout the United States.
Also
, every individual drives a personal car
due to
 easy payment plans.
Thus
, problems like jams occur, considering the number of people driving cars and the increased sale of automobiles. To deal with
this
 issue, the government should take steps to reduce the population in the long term, but in the short term, they should limit the usage of automobiles on roads and encourage
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of public transportation
instead
.
For example
, Delhi police recently enforced a law, limiting the vehicles on roads every single day.
This
 encouraged people to carpool or use buses and subways.
Therefore
, reducing vehicles on the road will resolve the problem of overcrowding to some extent. In conclusion, the problems
due to
 traffic are increasing
due to
 the growing populace of cities which are already congested and overpopulated.
Subsequently
, the government should cap the usage of cars and encourage the public to use public transportation.
Submitted by bidingmehakjot on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more concrete examples and data to support your claims further. This can strengthen the argument by providing specific evidence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating ideas. For instance, when mentioning the growing population, try to link it directly with the solutions and problems in a more varied manner.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction does a good job of presenting the topic and your stance clearly. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and provides a clear final stance, which helps in reinforcing your argument.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical flow with ideas that are well-connected, making it easy to follow along.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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