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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years.

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years.
The table provides information on the
sales
Use synonyms
 figures registered for a
period
Use synonyms
 of six years
starting
Change preposition
, from
show examples
 2006 to
2022
Punctuation problem
2022,
show examples
 for 5 companies producing mobile phones.
Firstly
Linking Words
, companies
such
Linking Words
 as Nokia and Ericsson illustrate a similar fluctuation pattern showing a slight increase in their
sales
Use synonyms
 numbers in 2007, followed by a continuous decrease
considering
Punctuation problem
, considering
show examples
 the number of sold devices up until the end of the reporting
period
Use synonyms
 covered in the table.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Samsung recorded a substantial growth in units sold
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 in
2022
Punctuation problem
2022,
show examples
 the number of
sales
Use synonyms
 almost doubled compared to 2006.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Motorola was among the leaders
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the market during the starting
period
Use synonyms
 in the table, outlining a dramatic decline in the
sales
Use synonyms
 quantity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a key feature is demonstrated by Apple that entered the market in 2007
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 its
sales
Use synonyms
 climbed sharply in 2012, placing it among the top mobile
phones
Check wording
phone
show examples
 retailers that year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the presented companies underwent significant changes in their
sales
Use synonyms
 numbers during the reporting
period
Use synonyms
, revealing different evolution patterns and positions on the market through the years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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