IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some contend that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has many destructive effects rather than positive impacts. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion since from my perspective the
internet
Use synonyms
 is useful for individual
people
Use synonyms
 in many parts of life,
while
Linking Words
 it can
also
Linking Words
 be harmful if there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who do not
using
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 it wisely. The merits of the
Use synonyms
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 are numerous in different
fileds
Correct your spelling
fields
files
. In
communication
Add an article
the communication
show examples
 field,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other easily through social media nowadays.
This
Linking Words
 situation even
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 citizens
Fix the infinitive
to interact
show examples
interact
Fix the infinitive
to interact
show examples
 and strengthen their bonds
Change preposition
with
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 who live in another country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in education areas,
people
Use synonyms
 can get access
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 e-learning on their electronic devices.
For example
Linking Words
, teachers can conduct online learning with their students through video conference apps
such
Linking Words
 as
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
 and
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
show examples
. Clearly, by doing
this
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can enhance their learning
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 effectively and efficiently.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental development, farmers can have regular weather
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts
show examples
 for a month or a year, so that it will help them to predict the best time for growing plants.
However
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 disastrous effect of the
internet
Use synonyms
 cannot be neglected.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some negative cases that come up on social media. Individual
people
Use synonyms
 sometimes try to make fake
identity
Fix the agreement mistake
identities
show examples
 and post hoax information on their Instagram and Facebook. Unfortunately, others usually cannot differentiate whether the information is true or not. So,
this
Linking Words
 condition can result in misunderstanding
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public society, leading to social harassment. In conclusion, I believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of the
internet
Use synonyms
 are much more than the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. I advocate that the government should make strict
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 on using social media to prevent unintended problems from the
internet
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt in your introduction by stating if you agree or disagree to a clear extent; while your position is somewhat given, it's important to be specific in presenting your thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, with each one discussing a single main point. These should follow a logical order and be relevant to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. The ones provided are somewhat generic; offering more detailed, real-life examples would strengthen your essay's impact.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: