Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
believe that the happiest time
of most people
's lives is the adolescent years
while
others believe that despite greater responsibility, adulthood is happier. Although
grown-ups are more flexible to use
their money
and time
, I think that teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
years
are the happiest time
of people
's lives because of the lack of responsibilities
in teen
Correct article usage
the teen
years
.
On the one hand, adult people
are taught to be more happy because they can spend their own money
and time
freely. Since they receive their money
through their own effort, they can use
their money
however
they want to. Moreover
, outside of their work, most adults can use
their time
to do whatever they like and make themselves happy. For example
, many people
choose to move from their parent's house after graduating from university just to be able to freely choose their own way of life in order to be happy. However
, I believe that the trade-offs of the responsibility to maintain a job are much more compared to the benefits.
On the other hand
, others see the teen years
as the happiest time
because, in their teen years
, many people
do not have strict responsibilities
. Although
most of them have to go to school and do students'
Fix the agreement mistake
student'
responsibilities
, a lot of young people
's lives are still supported by their parents. As a result
, except for their time
in school, most teens are not burdened with any responsibilities
, so they can happily do the things that they want to do. For instance
, many adults stop doing things they used to like, such
as playing music and sports, because they have to work from 9-5. Therefore
, I believe the teenage years
are the happiest time
because many people
are able to do the things that they like without the worry of any responsibilities
.
To conclude
, many believe that adulthood is the happiest time
because of the freedom of the adults. Conversely
, I believe that the teen years
are the happiest time
due to
the fact that many young people
use
their time
freely and do not have to worry about any responsibilities
, except going to school.Submitted by aribawadzaki on
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task achievement
Strengthen the argument by providing additional examples and evidence. For example, you could include studies, surveys, or real-life instances that support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Try to make the transitions between paragraphs even smoother. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
supported main points
Each paragraph presents a main point and supports it with logical reasoning and relevant examples.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a clear statement of the writer's opinion.