Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Need
for human Correct article usage
The need
labor
is decreased with the development of high-level technologies and it is expected that Change the spelling
labour
this
should lead to less
working Correct quantifier usage
fewer
hours
. I totally agree with this
statement due to
several reasons.
Change preposition
for
To begin
with, rapid
growth of AI and automation are the main motives that Add an article
the rapid
supports
my viewpoint. Artificial intelligence Change the verb form
support
have
specific fields like computer vision or natural language processing which can handle the tasks performed by employees without expertise like writing emails, filling data fields on documents and many more. Change the verb form
has
Additionally
, nowadays automation removes the need for the physical strength of human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Special
designed robots are used in developed factories to accomplish Change the adjective
Specially
the
Correct article usage
apply
work
which is very hard or repetitive. Advanced car manufacturers like Tesla or Volkswagen already use fully autonomous production.
Moreover
, possibility
of remote and flexible Add an article
the possibility
hours
and potential
benefits of less working time Correct article usage
the potential
demonstrates
why my point of view is valid. Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
Firstly
, a very small part of the jobs in the market require physical activity. Most vacations involve soft skills like problem-solving,
Correct word choice
and, ability
ability
to Correct article usage
the ability
work
with team
and hard skills like programming, marketing, accounting and others which makes it possible to Add an article
the team
a team
work
remotely. Secondly
, reduced working hours
can help employees to maintain a good work
-life balance and let them to
spend more time on creativity and innovation. People Change the verb form
apply
that
do not waste a lot on Correct pronoun usage
who
work
can split their time equally both for creativity and social life.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that working hours
should be reduced because of technologies’
development and their integration Change noun form
technologies
to
our daily life, Change preposition
into
as well as
the benefits of less
working Correct quantifier usage
fewer
hours
. Even if these technologies are not applicable for
most companies, it is recommended to benefit them and create employee satisfaction.Change preposition
to
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language clarity
Work on expanding and varying vocabulary. Some terms and phrases are repeated, which can make the essay seem less sophisticated.
grammar
Try to refine certain sections to improve clarity and eliminate minor grammatical mistakes. For example, 'writing emails, filling data fields on documents and many more' can be 'writing emails, filling in data fields on documents, and more.'
specific examples
Focus on providing more specific real-world examples or studies to add weight to your arguments. For instance, mentioning a case study or statistics could make your points more compelling.
introduction
The introduction sets the stage well by clearly stating the writer's stance, making it easy for readers to follow the subsequent arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes and reiterates the key points while also adding a recommendation, which strengthens the argument.
logical flow
The logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay, and there is a clear progression from one idea to the next.