IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Since traveling abroad has become relatively inexpensive more countries are opening their doors for foreign tourists. Is it a positive or negative trend? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

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These days, technology has been developing immediately, so people's lifestyles are so varied from the prior.
For example
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, global inhabitants can travel to other
countries
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 at less cost;
moreover
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, most
countries
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 open the way for
tourists
Use synonyms
 are able to visit these
countries
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive development owing to the
fact
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 that the tourist industries are the best choice for improving the
countries
Use synonyms
' economy and creating job opportunities. On the one hand, if
countries
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 have a
lot
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 of
tourists
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, their economy will
enhance
Verb problem
improve
show examples
; in
fact
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, foreign populations spend a
lot
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 of money in these kinds of
countries
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, Dubi is the best city that has a majority of passengers who spend a
lot
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 of money on various items
such
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 as entertainment, food, hotels, and so on;
additionally
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, we can see that Dubi citizens have good incomes and lives.
On the other hand
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, the crucial
fact
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 is that when we have a number of visitors in our country, the figure of the facilities that related to
tourists
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 for having a relaxed time with comfortable accommodation climb.
In other words
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, the number of hotels, restaurants, and so forth rises;
consequently
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, people who live in these areas can find a
lot
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 of careers. To illustrate, Antalya, a city in Turkey, has a
lot
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 of hotels with different costs, services, meals, and pastime places on account of the
fact
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 that people have a trip to
this
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 city to experience an energetic and good time.
To sum up
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, I think that
tourists
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 are the main factor that can aid
countries
Use synonyms
 to increase not only their wealth but
also
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 the situation for their communities to have comfortable lives.

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coherence and cohesion
To further improve coherence and make your essay more fluid, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', and 'As a result' could help to create smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
While your essay has relevant examples, try to elaborate on them a little more to provide a stronger task response. Adding a few more sentences to explain how the examples directly support your point will make your writing more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant and clear ideas, providing a strong response to the task. This showcases your understanding of the topic and your ability to express your opinion effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in making your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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