IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #development #progress
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, most people believe that the government should spend more money on
science
Use synonyms
 education than other
subjectssubject
Correct your spelling
subjects subject
 for
development
Use synonyms
 and progress. Personally, I partly agree with that. On the one hand,
science
Use synonyms
 is an important subject, including physics, chemistry and biology. All three
subjects
Use synonyms
 are an important part of industrial and medical
development
Use synonyms
. Two
fields
Use synonyms
 are very necessary to improve the quality of society and create more jobs for many people.
For example
Linking Words
, a country's
development
Use synonyms
 in the world in chemical industry technology, ability medical and technological mastery.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is the reason why many people think the government need to spend more on the growth of
science
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
subjects
Use synonyms
 like math, and language are considered basic, but it is very necessary because without being able to use basic math and language to communicate,
further
Linking Words
 learning and
development
Use synonyms
 will not be possible.
Besides
Linking Words
, geographically and historically, these two
fields
Use synonyms
 can help the
development
Use synonyms
 of the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, in today's world, lessons and experiences from historical events give many nations the ability to communicate skillfully to avoid any unnecessary conflicts. Meanwhile, many geographical surveys bring many discoveries about a nation's resources to develop and bring advantages. So, other
subjects
Use synonyms
 and
fields
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 important and need to be considered for
development
Use synonyms
 spending. In conclusion ,
Science
Use synonyms
 is an important subject and field for the
development
Use synonyms
 of a country,
however
Linking Words
, other
fields
Use synonyms
 and
subjects
Use synonyms
 need more attention and spending for their
development
Use synonyms
 not only in education but
also
Linking Words
 in many other professions.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both sides of the issue. However, try to elaborate more on your points for a deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit unclear or awkwardly phrased. Ensure each sentence logically follows from the previous one to improve clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument well.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, particularly about the importance of science and other subjects.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: