Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement？

#students #work #travel #school #university #people #adult #life #statement？

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common that many graduates from high school prefer working or travelling to only staying at home.

However

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, some people hold the view that working

experience

Use synonyms

is more useful and precious than travel. Personally, I tend to disagree with

this

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view. One main reason in favour of my opinion is that travelling is a great method to improve one's comprehensive abilities, which are valuable in adult life. Before a tour, many factors, including transport, housing, food and so on, need to be taken into consideration and sometimes a traveller should change the tourist attractions

due to

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the change in weather or some accidents.

This

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can significantly improve a person's problem-solving ability and

thus

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traveling is not easier than working.

In addition

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, teenagers in high school often spend the majority of their time committing to studying and increasing their academic performance under heavy peer pressure, with disregard for their physical exercise.

As a result

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, depression and obesity are more obvious than their counterparts in the past.

Therefore

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, taking a trip is a good way to contribute to their physical and mental health because of its features of easiness and joyfulness.

On the other hand

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, it is undeniable that accumulating some working

experience

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also

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beneficial to adolescents. The workplace is rather different from school, where they can not only master some practical skills

such

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as programming and gardening but

also

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experience

Use synonyms

the working atmosphere. These can direct their future job choice to some extent and, in the process they can recognise their own limitation and have a clear objective when they go to university. In conclusion, I argue that both working and travelling exert unique and profound effects on young adults, improving their well-being and various skills.

Hence

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, I advise that they can take full advantage of and properly arrange the time before going to university to try to

experience

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both.

Submitted by 1378468145 on Wed Oct 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

A few sentences could be made clearer by breaking them into shorter, simpler sentences.

task achievement

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is clear and sets up your argument effectively.

complete response

You offer a well-rounded discussion by acknowledging both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

316 words

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Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement？

Fully explain your ideas

In recent years, the world has witnessed a noticeable decline in interest and participation in traditional forms of art and culture

Being involved in the arts makes people feel better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientists predict in the near future, car will be driven by computers, not people. Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.