Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
contemporary era, entertainment and facilities have witnessed a significant alternation. A wide range of individuals believe that reading is crucial in enhancing our creativity.
However
, films and TV shows are mitigating our innovation. I totally disagree with
this
argument.
To begin
with,
firstly
, science fiction movies motivate people to think
further
. They now have the ability to generate their own world with modern technological gadgets.
Additionally
,
This
method inspired individuals to think outside the box. In his book, Real Iron Man, Elon Mask mentioned that he inspired his idea from Tony Stark the hero in the Marvel Universe. He fabricated cars and rockets because of
this
character.
Moreover
, films and media can be proliferated effortlessly and can be shown globally,
while
people can struggle to purchase a book and read an original copy.
Nonetheless
, a diverse myriad of folks are convinced that reading is the food of the soul. They believe that
while
we read we build our imaginary world.
This
helps people to widen their thoughts.
According to
a study conducted by Manchester University, it highlighted that youths who read the Harry Potter series are working in the arts and designing sectors. Despite understanding
this
point of view, I cannot agree with it. The new special effects technology and music effects can generate extraordinary Feelings. These can implant a sense of inspiration and innovation in individuals. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, I agree that the media and platforms have a significant impact on the creation of our personalities and minds. We should ameliorate it without regarding the benefits of reading.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Sometimes the ideas are a bit disjointed, which can make the argument harder to follow. Use clear linking words to improve the coherence of transitions between your points.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples to fully support your arguments. While the reference to Elon Musk and Iron Man is helpful, adding more detailed and varied examples would enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
General Advice
Try to avoid the use of very informal language and make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors, as some phrases could be phrased more formally or clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion which clearly lay out your perspective and summarize the argument effectively.
Task Response
The essay provides clear ideas regarding the impact of both reading and visual media on creativity. There is an understanding of both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You effectively use an example of Elon Musk and Tony Stark to illustrate how films can inspire creativity, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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