IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
Achieving a balance between their work and lives is an alarming issue, if not jeopardizing, unfortunately, it is not only a dispute in developing countries in fact, developed nations are
also
 victims of it. It is the need of the hour to control it and for that, it is imperative to examine the main causes for
this
 problem. So, It will be discussed in forthcoming paragraphs. The most widespread reason for
this
 is the inability to achieve work-life equality in jobs has become stressful and the second factor aggravating the obstacle is technology has
also
 made everyone more reachable and
this
 constant connection to work has reduced the time the community gets to relax at home.
Moreover
, another culprit for
this
 lack of harmony is the materialistic society of today
therefore
 it looks as if there is no end to
this
 dispute because of the giant reason putting adverse effects on society and making situations uncontrollable. There are many steps society can take to lessen their workload and achieve a healthier work-life tension. The public needs to set realistic and manageable goals at work.
However
, a few steps could prove beneficial to eradicate
this
 evil.
Firstly
, awareness through education could help to restrain or curb
this
 vicious practice.
For instance
, educational institutions or the Government can canvass against
this
 and more stringent laws should be made to keep regular checks on the practice.
This
 gist of the content is heavier workload creates a disturbance in a working life but certain strategies can help people rectify
this
 situation has become the need of the hour. So, humans must learn to use it effectively, so that the benefits can be controlled.
Submitted by psingh8059 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Strive for clarity and conciseness in your writing. Avoid overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is elaborated upon.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to the task requirements. Ensure you fully address the question by discussing both causes and solutions to the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: